help please

[Solara]

Hi

Im john im obviously not a mom but i want to join the navy and i am having a hard time trying getting support from my family on doing so. none of them want me to join the navy and are trying to stop me (not letting me have access to documents i need, etc...)... i believe this is something i want to do but i want my family's support in the process. i figured this would be a good place to try and get some advice. please any help is greatly appreciated

[Vickie]

Have they given you the reasons that they do not want you to join? Have you thought about having a recruiter meet with them to answer their questions?

[Solara]

hi
of course the usual we don't want you to go to war , you will lose all your free will, they(the navy ) will tell you one thing and do something completely different, the navy is for people who don't know what they want to do. and i talked to my recruiter and he brought up talking to them but they refuse to talk to him. my aunt used ROTC to pay for college and got pulled to Texas right as they were trying to start a family and they didn't like that. i actually want to do something and make my own decision for once instead of getting pushed into stuff ( i am currently a cna but only cause i needed a job and my aunt and uncle were both doctors so i did it cause it was an easy in )

[revad]

i didn't want my son to join either! he did it with out my aproval, i'm glad he did it he's seeing the world and
i'm vey proud of him! he's making something of his life and alot of good memories! good luck! do what you
want to do!

[Diane]

Solara, I have learned, as a result of my son's enlistment in the Navy, that they (the Navy) do not tell you one thing and do something completely different. Integrity comes above all else. As a matter of fact, some of the things that my son's recruiter told him and me scared me to death, because all he was trying to do was prepare us both for the worst. None of that came to pass. My son enjoyed every minute of BC and the Navy has done for him exactly what they said they would do. They gave him the job he wanted (nuke subs) and he is currently in A School training for just that. I have also learned that the Navy is not just for folks who don't know what they want to do in life. My son knew what he wanted to do with his life -- enlist in the finest and the best, and prove to himself that he could meet, even exceed, that goal, which he has already done. I can understand your family's reluctance, but if this is something that you are commited to do, and succeed at it, then you will. At that point, I really and truly believe that your family will come around and support you. You will not lose your free will -- this is America, not the Soviet Union. If your family refuses to even talk to your recruiter, I suspect (but could be wrong, because I don't know them) that they have their minds made up and don't want to hear anything that would explain away their fears. Follow your heart, and I wish you all the best. I would love to know how things work out for you.

[ChrisAmo]

How old are you? If you're over 18 you don't need anyone's permission to join. If you feel this is right for you then just go ahead and do it. I know you want your family's support but sometimes you have to just go ahead without it and hope they come around to the idea. If you REALLY want to join the Navy then don't let anything stop you. Remind them that you'll learn a good trade, will have a steady paycheck, health care, a chance to travel and money for college later if you choose. The Navy is for people who DO know what they want to do. They want to serve their country. What could be finer than that?

[gowestjeff]

I concur. Great post.

[Patrice]

Let the truth be told....I never wanted my son to join any branch of the Military for the obvious reason. I wasn't willing to let him go and potentially lose his life. It's every parents nightmare. It's something that I'm sure all of us think about every single day that our sons and daughters are serving. I was able to hold him off for two years after highschool and finally my husband looked me square in the face and said, "you have to let this kid go" and I did. I finally gave him my blessing and have never been more proud of this young man. He is my Hero, (although he is just in A School at the moment) He is truly in his element and loving what he is doing. But in hindsight I'm glad that I held him back for those two years. It allowed him to mature, and experience college for two years. If your convinced this is your calling and something that you are dedicated to doing then just do it. Sit them down and explain why you are joining and tell them that you would appreciate if they would support you during this. If they do they do, if not - you have hundreds of Mom's on this website that would be more than willing to step up!!!

Good Luck

[Paula]

OMG Patrice, that was perfectly written and said! Son, this is your life, the US Navy nor any other military orginization is for people who have no idea what to do in their life. Once you join, you live & breath the military. It will not be easy at first, so you must want this! If you want something that badly, you make it happen. You get trained, you get a rate, you can utilize the Navy to go to school and you become another United States Hero in the eyes of Millions. As Patrice ssaid, it would be great if your family backed you, and guess what honey...they may but you may have to prove to them this is what you want and this is what your doing. Follow your heart, and your family will adventually come around.

[Rhonda8881]

John,

I was thrilled when my son finally decided to do something worth while with his life. He was unhappy in his job, living at home and wanted a change. He was 22 years old.

At first I was a little scared; but decided I had to support him, like it or not. He did a lot of research before joining. He talked to anyone who had been in the military to find out the truth about boot camp and everything else. He actually interviewed the guys he talked to!

We were very proud of how he went about making his decision. He knew going in that it would be tough, especially at first. But he was determined to do it right. He made a good impression on his officers and ship mates by doing as told and not causing any trouble. He did the same in A school, where he was given an award for his exemplary behavior. He was rewarded for the first time in his life for following instructions and doing the right thing. (He was very rebellious in high school against any kind of authority!!!)

He is now a 2nd Class Petty Officer and is planning to make a career of it.

Show your parents that you are serious about making this decision and not just on the spur of the moment. If you present it to them as a mature adult, they may not give you as much trouble. But even if they still don't want you to join and you KNOW this is right for you, do it anyway.

Just tell them this is what you want to do with your life and would appreciate their support, but will join and succeed even without their support. They will eventually come around.

As others have said, you have all of us at N4M to support you however we can.

Good Luck, I will be praying for you and your family.

[Chief88]

Hi, if your 18 you don't need their permission. You have to be honest with your family and tell them what you what to do your goals in life etc. It is very hard for parents to let go especially when our country is at war. I'm sure that they only want the best for you. When my son told me he wanted to join I was shocked, now after talking to him and what he wants I'm so proud of him. I love him so much and have great respect for what he is about to do. Talking with your parents and family is the best way to deal with this. It is always to do something like joining a srvice with the support of your loved ones! I think they should take a look at this web site it is full of stories they need to read. Good luck in all you do!

[Stephanie (Ship 07 Div 282)]

John, I know that as a parent is it hard to let go and let our kids do their own thing. Caleb had always wanted to go into the service so we knew this day would come and we do support him fully. For many years, Caleb wanted to join the Marines then changed his mind to the Navy. We had him sit down and think about and discuss the pros and cons to each. That may be something you want to write out to show your family that you are not taking this lightly, that you have thought it through and are determined to do this. Like Patrice and others have said, we will support you through this and support your family as well!

Good luck!

[Troy's Mom Ship 03/Div 146]

John, my son has been in BC for 9 days. Prior to that he was a DEPPER for a year. When he started talking to the recruiter, I was a little worried and hesitant. He went to a larger city to take the ASVAB test, SENT ME A TEXT on his way home from the ASVAB telling me he had enlisted. I didn't know whether to hug & kiss him or wait for him to come home and beat his rear! :-) The year he was a DEPPER, he had his ups and downs. He was convinced he had made the right decision one day, and then cursing himself the next for "jumping the gun". But about November, he sat down with his step-dad who was also in the Navy, and they had a real heart to heart. Troy told his dad what he feared about serving and what he was excited about. In that year, I also had many ups and downs as a mom. But, that said, I've always felt this is Troy's decision to make about his life. His future. It's not a decision to be taken lightly. And for your parents, remind them that they have raised a respectable, bright, intelligent and independent son to be able to take care of himself and take charge of his life. It is time for them to let go and support the son they raised. This is the goal they have been reaching for all of their parental lives! IT's a positive thing to see our kids succeed in what ever it is they choose to do! And if they are slow to jump aboard your support-ship.... You've got us here on N4M! Good Luck and God Bless.
Tabatha