LIFE ON A SHIP: FEMALE STYLE!!!

[CarrieLynn]

May sound silly but I more frequently have people ridiculing my idea to join the NAVY because I will be stuck on a ship with excess testosterone. I want to know, from a females' perspective, what life was like out there with fellow sailors (the gents in particular).

 

There may be other forums like this out here. I know my mom is mostly terrified about the idea of BC. Once I get her comfortable w/that aspect of the navy, I will want to provide her with some reassurance about shiplife. (I know I am a 24 year old adult & can make this decision on my own but I want to show my mother some respect by acknowledging her concerns!)

[Anti M]

I can't help you with life on a ship, I was in the Navy before they allowed women on warships. Working with male sailors is mostly alright. A few will be jerks, but you're going to get them anywhere. For the most part, if you are professional, they will be professional. I had very close male friends, still do to this day. I even married a couple sailors... one disastrously and one for over 23 now. Men and women after all...

Boot camp? LOL, THAT was the easy part. Oh sure, it can be hard physically and mentally, but if you have the ability to listen and do exactly what you are told, to keep your mouth shut, to work hard, and to keep your sense of humor intact, you'll be fine. Just follow orders, there's not much decision making for you at that stage of the service. What are your mom's concerns?

[Arwen]

I was on a ship about 20 years ago, but I don't see how that can have changed *too* much.

Women have their own living quarters (called berthing) with bathrooms and (usually) showers attached. It's no different than the mens' with racks (beds) stacked 3-high like bunk-beds, and the number per compartment (room) depends on the size of the ship and number of women assigned to the ship. It can be anywhere from 12 to 120 to a compartment. I was on a very large ship with a large complement of women. Some racks were in alcoves, others were more open to the group area.

Showers and restrooms (heads) were similar to what you might expect at a recreation center or gym, with a central group of four showers in a small hallway, and in the main head area there was a LARGE mirror for women to apply makeup, do their hair, etc, with outlets for hairdryers and curling irons. This too would vary between ships.

There is a small convenience store on many ships (sometimes it is a whole store, like a 7-11, on others it is just a window-store) where you can buy basic female supplies. If you need/want something special you need to get a supply before leaving port and store them it your locker.

My ship was among the first built with women crewmembers in mind, they have likely made some changes since then.

At the time we were required to live on our ship while in port (which on my ship was most of the time), I have heard that they are now putting single sailors in barracks while in port. While in port (or in shore duty) barracks are a lot like college dorm living, but with regular inspections and a a lot more rules.

Is that the kind of information you are looking for?

[GingernP]

Thanks so much for giving such great information. I am also curious about what it is like being a female on a ship with so many guys. I figure you will encounter jerks in anything you do and it is nice to know the overall tone towards women being on the ship seems positive. This is the first thing my mom mentioned when I brought up joining the Navy, she was concerned about the treatment of women on ships and basically all the information I have been able to find, on here and the Women Redefined facebook page (if you have a female sailor encourage her to check it out, there are a bunch of future sailors on there that always have questions) seem to tell me I will get along just fine.

[Arwen]

You are right, just like in the civilian world there are jerks, there are even those who will sexually harass or even rape. While the Navy has a certain historic misogynist bent and still attracts that type on occasion, by far most sailors have no problem working with women. The Navy has such a rigorous background check process, most of those who are a real problem are weeded out because they often have criminal records associated with their attitude. You are probably less likely to run into one of these people in the Navy than you would if you worked at Starbucks or Macy's.

Two things you have to get used to: being treated like "one of the guys" (sometimes they seem to forget you are female, which can hurt the feminine ego a little) and simple friendly behavior being misinterpreted as "flirting." Some guys never do get past the idea that any female who talks to them must be "interested."

Are there going to be times when you will have problems as a woman in the Navy? Yes. When you run into one of the "jerks" you know it, and you write them off in the same way you would a jerk at work or school. Unfortunately sometimes they are in your chain of command, but you just have to remember that in the Navy everything is temporary. Either you or the jerk are likely to get transferred to another command within the next year or two. If they go beyond "jerk" to real harassment or abuse, reporting the problem through official channels usually takes care of it. If not, there are other "approved" methods of dealing with it.

There are bad things that happen. The Navy is not a completely safe place. Neither is walking home from a friend's house in a good neighborhood. There are stories that make me want to curl up and cry. Not just of events that happened (rapes, etc) but of chains of command who are less than supportive of women who are attacked. But the same thing can be said of some police departments and prosecutors.

When I joined, many of the chiefs were still from the old Navy when women were not allowed on ships (except hospital ships) and didn't much like the idea of women in the Navy at all. By now all of those chiefs are gone and retired, even those they trained are either gone, or nearly ready to retire. We're into the third generation of sailors who are used to having women on ships, and it shows. Most sailors will judge you by your military and job performance, not your gender.

[GingernP]

Thanks for your post. I think the biggest fear that I had when I was considering joining was sexual assault. I looked and looked online for any information I could find concerning some sort of statistics and everything I found led me to believe it is not something that happens frequently but I understand also that violence against women is something that happens in any community. I appreciate the point you made concerning learning to deal and take lightly the misinterpreted "flirting" I have a pretty good sense of humor about that kind of thing, my current job is bartending, you would not believe some of the off the wall things guys say and do. Everything I have read, looked up, and listened to from women who are currently serving seems encouraging.

[Marie L. Logue]

As a Navy Vet I praise your decision. I went in the Navy in the 70s at the age of 25. I completed 10 years on active duty. A very successful and enjoyable career. I only got out due to family issues that I had to attend to. When I was in the Navy they had just started to place women on Navy ships. We had to deal with the "Old Salts" as well as Navy wives who thought we should not be there. You just have to prove yourselve as a professional. You can do it! It is just like anyother career only you are on the water. I Loved it!!! I had the chance to make life long friends. My best friend and I made E-5 together on a ship. Her and I have been friends for over 30 years. I wish you all the best! Fair winds and Following Seas.

[Anti M]

I could have written that myself, except I never did get to serve on a ship. I got to go to Diego Garcia!

[Miri]

My daughter is a BC right now. It's no picnic. She gets along fine because she does what she is told and doesn't talk back. She says that they have sent many home because they weren't serious enough about the Navy. Are you looking at the Navy for a career? or just to be with the boys? Surely your Mom would listen to you if she believes that you are serious about a career. I didn't like the idea of my children joining to be honest. (They are both at boot now). However, they did show me that they were serious and they had good reasons for joining. Tough to argue or be discouraging about that huh? I wish you well. If it is right, family comes around. One thing about working with men is you don't have the "girl dramas" lol My daughter is looking forward to that because Boot with 90 girls that you have to depend on is tough. If your Mom has any questions she may email me at [e-mail] Miri

[GingernP]

I am amused at your question "or just to be with boys?" In fact if I wasn't so amused by it I would be insulted. There are much easier ways to meet men. I joined to see the world and be part of something bigger than myself.

[Paula S.]

Here's an interesting statistic... women comprise 10% of the Navy... so, if you're on an aircraft carrier with ship's company and squadron personnel totally approx. 5,000... 500 will be women. The drama doesn't end in BC... a large majority of enlisted come right out of high school into the military and therefore bring their high school drama and high school attitude right along with them. There are times that it will be incredibly frustrating but overhaul, if you work hard and bring with you an a degree of professionalism you should have a very enjoyable career. Good luck!

[MJ]

Well, I'm a mom of a new female sailor who's currently on a ship as we speak (her first deployment). I can tell you a few things that my daughter has told me and what I've gone through as a mom. First, while Boot Camp is definitely not easy to go through, dealing with other females that you will have to bunk with in a room seems to be the biggest hurdle as, well, they're females. lol You'll just have to prepare yourself to deal with many different personalities. My daughter got through boot camp, though, it can be done (and she's very happy she did). My biggest thing as a mom while she was in boot camp was "worrying." Unfortunately, a mom cannot get around that one, she is GOING to worry because it's also "unchartered waters" for her as well. (Also, it's kind of a God-given right of Moms TO worry. lol) Dads, for some reason, seem to worry less than us moms. lol Anyway, that's why navyformoms.com is SO important for us....we lean on each other on this site and find info and comfort here. A School in Pensacola was not as hard as boot camp, and my daughter had made many friends there from both sexes (who also looked out for her as friends, very important bond). Now, as far as being a female on a ship goes, she seems to be doing just fine right now. The sailors are kept very busy working on the ship, and working as a team (this includes females) is of the utmost importance. As far as the "testosterone" thing goes, you'll have to know to set a guy straight (but that goes in civilian life as well). My daughter, I feel, has actually gotten better knowing how to deal with men in the military since there are so many of them. If you have an issue with a guy harassing you in ANY way, REPORT it, period. That is THE best way to deal with it. The Navy does not put up with harassment. All that being said, I'm glad that my daughter chose to join the Navy. It's given her direction, meaning and purpose....and she actually LIKES it, which astounds even me! lol Good luck to you.

[JaLeDu Mom]

One point that hasn't been made: They do training with the sailors about what is harassment, abuse and such things. Actually, from the sounds of it, more than once. My son has been in since last July and has had 2 classes about it. One in boot camp and again when he got to Pensacola. Granted, not everyone will do as they are taught, but I do think it shows that the Navy takes it seriously and tries to be procactive in preventing it.