How do I get my parents approval?

[LesleyR]

Hello everyone,

I'm going into my senior year of college, and I'm applying to Physician Assistant and Nursing schools.  I really want to join the Navy after I graduate, but my mom doesn't want me joining the military while we're in the middle of a war, and my dad's reaction was a pretty solid "no". 

I know that I don't need their consent once I'm over 18, but I don't know how I'd be able to do it without their support.  Any advice on how to help them come around?

Thanks,
Lesley

[Navy Aunt (AF Wife)]

Lesley-- try and write down the pros and cons of joining the Navy. You clarified why your Mom is not thrilled with the idea, but why is your Dad's reaction a solid no? Ask them to sit down with you and talk things over and include your list when having the discussion. I am sure they fear for your safety if you join, but there are no guarantees concerning your safety in civilian life either. And even if you join during "peace time" does not mean that you won't have to go to war sometime during your contract. Listen to their concerns and express your concerns about needing their support. They are both more than welcome to come on N4M and read, ask questions,etc. There is even a site for Dads for them to take advantage of and further the input they can receive from other familiy members who have Sailors/Recruits/Deppers in the USN.

My family has had active duty in every military service except for the Coast Guard. If I hadn't known through experience that the pros so outweigh the cons, I would have had a hard time with my Nephew joining. However, I know that this is something that will better his life and give him opportunites that otherwise he would have never had in this lifetime.

I think when all is said and done, your parents will come around. Give them time to think things through. See if you can meet with your local recruiter and have your parents attend the meeting. In the end, it is your decision. I wish you luck in whatever you decide!!!!!

[Francine/Sailor's MOM]

Lesley, my husband and I's first reaction to our daughter was no way also until we sat down with her recruiter and asked him a lot of questions. Now she has just graduated boot camp 4/23 and we could not be prouder of her. She went in as an E2 and has already advanced to an E3 and she loves it. You need to let your parents ask the questions and put their mind at ease with your decision. In the end it is your decision but you don't want to make a major decision like that without their support either. Good luck with whatever you decide and let me know if you have any questions for me.

[jking]

first of all, you don't need your parents approval. it is your decision only. you are old enough to make a life decision for yourself. i understand how they feel, i really do, but they have two choices: either supprt you and help educate your decision, or keep being close minded and risk losing you forever. you don't know where your possible military career will take you. my neighbor is retired navy, in the medical field, and in 23 years, never left the U.S. ! there is risk whether you join or not. my daughter's argument was this.... she would rather be out with the finest men and women at her back, then be stuck here working with people she really doesn't care about. i tend to agree. the navy may not be for you, but it is certainly an opportunity worth checking into. make a list with pros and cons, educate yourself, and speak with people who have served in your field of interest. the best of luck to you, and feel free to contact me, or have your parents do the same, with any questions.

[Nanon]

Lesley,


I come from a long line of military service. My daughter graduated from boot camp a week ago. I have read the responses other have given to you and I agree completely.

The questions I have for you are these: 1) why do you want to join the navy 2) are you going to wait until after PA school or join now and have the military educate you with service after you graduate 3) where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I would then use these as a framework to discuss this further with your parents. War is inevitable and your mother loves you, remember she is looking out for your best interests. So you have to explain to both of your parents why joining the navy or any military service is in your best interest. In the end I am pretty sure they will come around. Most parents do (as you can see by this website). Give them time to adjust to the idea.

Let us all know how this turns out.

[darlin']

LesleyR,

Pray, think, and consider why your parents are thinking that way. It's a hard life either way, and I guarentee you they want nothing but to keep you safe and love you. I'm sure you know that in your heart. However, if you stop and ask them why, you can then tell them that you'll think over what they had to say and talk to them again later. Then do that. If your in college then you know how to research what their concerns are and whether they are valid or not. Example, if you'll be in the medical field, then that's different in the Navy than other positions so far as where you'll end up.

Also, do not rely on info from the recruiter. Get it from a vet. They'll be happy to tell you his or her experience and you'll learn a lot.

Good luck.

[Mark]

Hopefully, you're looking into the programs where the Navy will completely cover either Nursing school, or Med school. If you were in either of those programs, I cannot see a rational basis for opposing your service during wartime - even deployed overseas, you'd be in less physical danger than if you were commuting to work in many of our urban areas; it just isn't a factor. Not having any loans to pay off is quite a benefit; you could also negotiate the military paying off any existing student loans, if you have them - that is quite common in these programs, I believe.

[NavyMom1989]

Hey! My name is Caitie and I'm NavyMom1989's daughter. I'm 21 and enlisted 3months ago and am leaving for Basic in 18days as a GM. My parents had the same reaction. They still don't support my choice and I've accepted this. It is your life though and yours alone. I made my choice without their support. A lot of my family disagree too, some have even stopped talking to me for it. You have to do what you think is best for you. It's your life to live and no one elses. The little birds have to learn to fly eventually right? If you're ready, then it's time to take flight and do what you think is right.

[LesleyR]

Thank you so much for all of your responses. They've really been a tremendous help. I'll try to make them focus on the pros, and hopefully they'll come around. This is something that I've wanted for quite some time, and at the end of the day, I should be doing something I want to do.

Thank you again!

[Sailor_Reed]

Lesley- my name is Blayke reed and the best thing you can do is have them sit down and talk to A. the Recruiters and B. other enlisted personel. my dad had the same reaction yours did, but in time he came around to the idea of it all.

[MomSeanEM2]

Lesley,

I think that is wonderful that you want to join the navy. My son wanted to join the navy since he graduated from High School. He went to college to be an electrician. He will be 23 next month. He worked for about two years and decided to speack with a recruiter. He joined and went for his physical at MEPS. He told his sister about this the morning the recruiter was taking him to MEPS. He did not tell us. (His parents) When he returned home in the evening he sat my husband, myself and daughter down at the kitchen table and told us he joined the navy. We were concerned but very proud of him. He is in boot camp right now and his first letter home to us he wrote he does not regret his decision to join the navy. Yes his father and I are very concerned for him but also very proud of him. He is going to be an electricians mate with the US Navy.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever your decision is.

If you join the navy or not I know your parents will be proud.

Sincerely,

Mother of a recruit

[Barb Pruitt]

If you are sure you want to join, just do it. Your parents will come around when they see you are serious and are happy. If they don't, fortunately they won't be living your life, you are an adult and need to make career choices that are right for you. As a navy wife and mother of two sailors, a son and daughter, I can tell you, they are probably saying no because they are scared and love you. And not because they don't support our troops. Have your parents hop online and read a bit on this website. They can talk to other parents and get some great information . It could be are they not familiar with the military? If they don't know someone who has served they may be worried because they really don't have any information. This is a great place to get it. You get great opportunities to travel, and experience that will last you a lifetime. If this is really important to you, and your parents see that, I expect they will be willing to sit down and talk to you or go to a recruiter with you.