HELP! MARRIAGE LICENSE PROBLEMS!!!

[bella [mrs. ae2]]

Hey N4M....I have a big problem. ANY AND ALL advice is needed and welcomed!

FACTS:

My fiance is stationed in Pensacola, FL for A-School

We are trying to get a chit to come home the last weekend in July to get married

He IS classed up

The county clerks office is only open on the weekends from 8am-4pm

 

 

QUESTIONS:

What are possiblities of him being able to "skip" class on friday and come home in time to get to the clerks office by 4?

 

Is there any other way to get a marriage license without him being there?

 

Has anyone been in this situation before? I need help....

[Arwen]

Okay, if you want to have the legal wedding, AND keep your family happy, here's what you do. I've seen it done before.

Go to Florida as soon as possible for a week's "visit." Tell the family you are going to do some wedding planning. Get the legal license there, in Pensacola, and do a quick Justice of the Peace wedding. Your fiancee then turns in the paperwork and the Navy is happy. You will be on his orders. You will be legally married in the eyes of the law, but you probably won't feel married. This is okay, even good for your purposes.

Change the date for your big wedding to the week he will be home on leave. Tell the minister what you have done, so he knows that there will be no paperwork to sign. Explain the situation and he will probably be very helpful. You don't have to tell anyone else about your prior legal wedding, this can be your secret. Let yourself and everyone else enjoy the moment. You will NOT need a license from the state where you will have the big wedding, only the agreement of your minister. You may have to show him your Florida marriage certificate.

So, you are happy, your family is happy, and the Navy is happy.

The only problem is that there is no guarantee he will get leave, or even permission to travel on liberty. Hurricanes often interrupt Pensacola A schools, extending their time there for a week or more. Plus, if his orders aren't ready by the time he graduates he will not be coming home immediately. Sometimes it takes a week or two after graduation before they have permission to leave.

Planning anything in advance in the Navy is difficult at best. All deposits should be refundable, and the guests need to understand that the Navy really doesn't care if your sailor misses his wedding. For an E-3 and below, the Navy would actually prefer he does NOT get married.

[Sadye Rose (SHIP4DIV817)]

This sounds great it is really what I wanted. I know he recently hit E-2 at boot camp last week and he said he'd be E-3 when he started A school so I'm not sure what his rank will be. I really am willing to wait, just not be a "geographical widow" as mentioned before, so I'd be really happy if we did that

[Sadye Rose (SHIP4DIV817)]

Haha whoops you weren't even talking to me... Helpful all the same

[bella [mrs. ae2]]

Hey everyone thanks for all the advice etc.

He has talked to his COC and his yoeman on a regular basis and it has been confirmed that he can get married during A-School. He can also come home to do it. We are currently waiting on his chit to get approved. He was told that his chances of getting it approved are high on the count that he will not be in class during that time. He just happens to finish his only class at the moment that week and wont be starting his new class until the week after! So hopefully everything works out! We found a place in Monterey, CA which is about 2 hours from where I live that doest "on site" wedding license with no waiting period and so we booked a date there. It is beautiful and I can't wait. Keep your fingers crossed that his chit gets approved! :)

[Anti M]

Actually, marriage is beneficial for some sailors during training. If they have a spouse who knows how much they need to dedicate to the training and doesn't complain about the long hours, the sailor then has a helpmate and a soft place to relax when off duty and not studying.

What is stressful is that if they are not married during the training process, the spouse is not on the orders when school is finished. That could mean three years or more apart on top of the year or more for school because the Navy will not pay for the move of a spouse acquired after the orders have been issued. It all depends on the couple and the length and difficulty of the A school.

I was an ET, the school is supposed to be six months, I was in Great Lakes for over a year, nearly 18 months! Had I been engaged, I'd have thought about marriage in a heartbeat. I didn't think Et school was so hard I couldn't have done it with a spouse. I partied more than I would have if I'd been married for sure! Distractions come in many flavors.

[bella [mrs. ae2]]

Cheri, I have to agree with Anti M on this one. It may be different for each sailor, but mine deffinatly is more distracted and stressed out without me. It is stressful trying to figure it all out but it is more stressful for BOTH of us to be apart. Also, he was told by his COC that he has a really high chance of getting stationed in Japan, for 3 years and that would cause a hardship even more then getting married during school. Keeping my fingers crossed that his chit gets approved. :)

Anti M, you are full of wisdom and have great advice, thank you for everything so far! :)

[bella [mrs. ae2]]

unfortunatly, we were told that getting married before he left would be a bad idea. i think the recruiter just didnt want to do the extra paper work. because we sure as hell should have gotten married before he joined. it would make all of this so much easier.

[Marian (Frank's Mom)]

My son was in A school in Charleston before Nuke and Prototype, and I do know that if you could of waited til he graduated from A school, then he would have had a much longer leave. Like Hoppi said, you need to learn that you need alot of leave way when he comes to the Navy... We had many things planned and always had to rebook, or replan them around the Navy and it doesn't get any easier... Now my son is a Firstie at the Naval Academy and even though we know he has 3-4 weeks leave each summer, we still never know until shortly before which block he will get and even then, they have changed that before so most importantly be patient and always remember the NAVY comes first and they don't care what you have planned unfortuneatley (even if its a unexpected funeral. which we had to through together in 3 days to plan "around the Navy") God Luck!

[navymasha]

My son was in the same situation as you are. He was married last weekend and we didn't know until one week before the wedding if he would make it or not. Like you I think my son is less stressed out with his Fiance or wife there than without her. He is still in school in Great Lakes and he classed up a week and a half before the wedding. His first chit that he put in was for a week but he had to change that. He flew to NY on Friday night (missing rehearsal) and left on Sunday evening. Our local town clerk waived the 24 hour wait for marriage licenses and met us there Sat morning for him to sign the papers. As It turned out, he was bumped from his return flight on Sunday and didn't fly back till Monday. Because it was the airline's fault he didn't get into trouble about it. It turned out to be a beautiful wedding. I hope that yours works out as well. Good Luck

[Ruth McLaurin]

my kids got married in 2008 and my son was still stationed in England, my daughter in law applied for the license with paper work from him to do it in his absence - I apologize, I forget the name of the paperwork, but it is for military personnel. The county clerk should be able to help you - the paperwork they sign will have to be notarized, so make sure he has access to a notary and should be able to get the licence without him and be ready to go when he gets home.