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Sailors who don't/won't communicate
Is there anyone else here who only rarely hears from their sailors? I haven't heard from my son since January, just before his ship left for spring patrol. I know he has been in port several times, has been back in home port for two weeks, and is not affected by the quake/tsunami.
He only calls every few months, never emails, and doesn't use his Facebook page.
My brother-in-law went two years without calling his mother, when he was stationed in Italy, and I see my son going down that path.
How do you deal with never hearing from your sailors, and have you figured out any tricks to get them to call?
Views: 915
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Terri E(sailor Alex's proud mom) on
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Arwen-Try buying a phone plan for him? If you're paying...maybe he'll be calling? If he doesn't call, you don't pay. When mine didn't call I'd just guilt him & pester him until he did. I'd tell him how worried I was about him, which was true...I'd always ham it up a little bit to compel his expedient response. Just thought I'd throw out some ideas for you. Sorry I couldn't help more.
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Permalink Reply by Arwen on
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Chris has access to the free phones at the USO. He called me on them regularly for a while, then just stopped calling. So he really has no excuses.
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My sailor is also in Japan. He doesn't communicate with us much. I always send him letters, emails and boxes and ask for him to let me know how he is doing. He never does. I know it is difficult for him to call because he does not have a global plan on his phone. He will borrow one once in a while to call me. When I do hear from him I have to let the whole family know what he has said and what is going on over there, since I am just about the only person he talks to. I know he misses all of us so maybe that is his way of dealing with the home sickness. I dunno. But I continually send messages and ect to him. He is now on his 6 mo deployment so I know I will not hear very much. I email him my schedule every week just in case he decides to call or skype with me. It is hard being so many hours differenct, he is 13 hrs ahead. So either he or I have to loose sleep to be able to talk. Hopefully things will get better for you and me..but just keep on writing, emailing and sending those care packages, I know he loves to get them.
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AAAGGHH!!
I had this long story typed to send to you and accidentally deleted it.
So I am gonna cut to the chase . . . .
Arwen, do this. Go get some yummy munchies, little boxes of candy, get a cool T-shirt, baseball cap, lots of
pictures. Then go to the US post office and get a flat rate mailing box and fill it with all that stuff. You will even
get a discount cause it is for the Troops! I did that and my son called me and told me how uplifting it was and
how all his mates were happy he got something from home.
I promise you if he can get a free minute from all that they are doing (thanks to the disaster) he will call you.
I know it is painful not to hear from them. I think they go through changes when they call alot or not at all. It will
be OK.
Hang in there.
I hope this helps you.
Lee
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I've sent him lots of those kind of boxes (I love the discount FPO boxes) but I never even get an acknowledgement that it arrived. :-(
I recently sent him one full of spring candy (peeps, chocolates, etc), Girl Scout cookies, a tsunami t-shirt (they were selling them at the port here) and some other stuff. Not sure if I'll get any kind of reply from him.
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Arwen-I'm so sorry he's being uncommunicative. Is he suffering from depression or horribly homesick?
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He's being busy living his own life. He discovered that with a fat paycheck, no bills, and no parents breathing down his neck during his free time, he can immerse himself in his hobbies. Which are Dungeons & Dragons, anime, internet-based comic books, and, I'm sad to say, hentai. He gets so caught up in those activities he tends to forget we exist for months at a time.
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My son is that way too. He loves to play football & workout at the gym. He lives less than 2 miles from us & if I don't contact him first (call, text, stop by his house), I may never see him again. If it were up to him I honestly don't know if or when he'd take the initiative to contact me. Maybe at my funeral?
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Set out the voodoo doll & that'll compell him to call. Make sure the voodoo doll knows the phone number...pin the # to the doll.
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My son and I talk just about 1 a week,, not enough for me. We talked the other night and he said "that the reason he doesn't call is because he is soooooo homesick, and it HURTS him to call home and hear about all the things he is missing "back home"!! the way i know he is ok, is that i am on Our joint bank account~~ i see if he has activity ,, then i know he is ok.. my son, has never been very 'TALKATIVE' he is more of a self-soother, And of course when he NEEDs me to do something for him he calls... my theory is no news is good news,, i am trying to have more FAITH, THAT GOD AND OUR NAVY WILL TAKE CARE OF MY BABY BOY!! IT'S HARD and I am trying to deal with it!! he also says he is not going to get on fb anymore cuz it hurts to see so many going on with their life (his ex-fiance)!! my son has also began college classes so he is very very busy,,with school, duty, and every day life as a sailor..
Good luck I hope your sailor calls soon!!
take care and God bless,
rita mae
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This sounds good Rita Mae. I often wonder if this is the same with my son! He does seem to have some good friends tho. We need to get together soon! Sue
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My son says the same thing about being so homesick and it hurts more when he calls home. I'm sure its the same with your Sailor Arwen. I spoke with my son alot this weekend they were back in Yokosuka for a few days. he said "Mom mom mama mama mom I miss you so soo much I want to go home" I heard him choking back tears but I was strong I didnt cry while he was on the phone. then He gave himself a little pep talk and said Im ok mom just lonely is all. God I felt so bad. I dont even know if I should have shared that he would be so mad at me, but as I see it we're all facing the same thing.
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