Children

[skell456 (AO wife)]

So as you probably already read my husband and I have a 3 year old son named Logan.  He is just a great kid, but this has been so hard on him.  We have moved from where he knows everyone to hear where he knows nothing.  He really misses home and asks me everyday to go back.  Sometimes he even gets mad at me for not taking him home.  We lived with my in-laws for the past year so he misses his grand parents A LOT.  It is so hard to watch him go through this.  Any suggestions????

[skell456 (AO wife)]

I wasn't afraid to move when we were moving LOL it wasn't until after the fact that I started to realilze how hard it is on him.  I personally like living in different places, but this just makes me realize how hard this really is in a whole.  He gets excited to see his dad everyday or so, and we really do a lot of things we have went to malls, a concert, beaches, we have taken him to two movies and so on all with him.  We have been very busy LOL.  He sometimes acts out in with very bad behavior, but if you  knew my son he is just not a typical three year old he is almost never bad so when he acts out I do not know how to handle it.  It almost surprises me when he acts up.  Thank you for the response I appreciate the advice.  I wish you the best with all your moving. Good Luck!!!!!!

[FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW]

skell- The best thing that you are doing is-recognizing it. I found that "getting excited" when they see dad was pretty normal for children in general. In fact, mine STILL act up when he comes home and they are teens! LOL

Will you be staying there for awhile? Kids love routine, sometimes "doing" lots of stuff can amp it up a bit. It may take time to wind down...so to speak. Try to get into some "normal" as much as you can...even though YOU know there is going to be lots of not normal.

 I know it surprises you when they do things you don't normally expect (welcome to motherhood! Just when I would get "used to" one thing-it changed! LOL) Once you get over that ;-) and it is quiet (when you are completely alone and somewhat rested LOL), have a sit and replay the situation, before, during and after. Then try to see where and when it happened before. Then talk to someone you trust about it if you don't get it figured out. The pieces should fall into place.

Do they have a FRG (Family Readiness Group) at the "A" schools? Try them for information, pamphlets etc. They might have programs for you to participate in so he can make new playmates.

I am not active military so I don't know what it is like to move every couple of years, but I have been reading some books.

May I recommend a couple of books to you? When my DH was deployed our Base threw a send off dinner and gave us a "goody bag". It had two books in it that were VERY helpful and comforting.

Last time he was deployed it was Christmas after 9/11. Got the call on the 27th and he was gone by the 6th of Jan. It was a crazy time. There were NO resources and for a reservist wife, no other military wives around. Very lonely and lost. If I hadn't had my Church and friends...but it is not the same as having someone with a "like" mind.

One book is more focused on deployment but might come in handy when(if) your Sailors are out to sea (they don't have to be deployed to go. There are short 3 month working cruises etc.).

The other is by an AF brat/married to the Navy mom

Here are the books:

Seperated by Duty, United in Love - A Guide to Long Distance Relationships for Military Couples by Shellie Vandevoorde

 

The Homefront Club - The Hardheaded Woman's Guide to Raising a Military Family by Jacey Eckhart (This is the Navy Wife)

You can probably find them on Amazon.

Campus Crusade for Christ also has resources. http://www.militaryministry.org/

As with any book I would recommend-take what works for you from it...and toss the rest. Just because SOME of the stuff doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't have stuff that does!

Good Luck

[skell456 (AO wife)]

Thank you so much.  I love knowing that I have so much support right here.  I will get those books.  It is time for a good read anyway..  We are only going to be here for 2 more months which puts us at 3 months total.  Then we do not know yet.  It's looking like Norfolk, but nothing is 100% yet.  I think once we get settled down somewhere and he has his "own room" and things like that it may get better.  I just hate seeing him so sad.  That is the hardest part on me.  It makes me want to run back home just to see him happy, but that is just no something we can do right now or probably ever.  I just hope he starts to adjust better.  Thanks again to both of you for helping me.  Just your words alone make me realize I am not alone!!!!!

[SRLawrenceswifey33]

My boyfriend and I are planning on moving when he gets station somewhere and we get married. I have a young son at the moment, but I am afraid of how his biological grandparents and father will act toward my decision on making our life better. Any advice??

[skell456 (AO wife)]

Wow that is a really hard one....That involves so much legal stuff too.  I am not sure what I can advise you on other than following your heart.  If you and the father did not work out than that is no one fault and people need to move on.  I know that as a mother you will make the right decision for your child.  They still get to spend time together.  It also depends how much the father is in his life now.  I mean if he is not very active in his life than it will not matter much in my opinion, but if he is very active than that is a harder choice.  Just reassure him that he will get to see his son whenever he wants.. Planes, trains, and automobiles. LOL  You will both have to make an effort in the transportation so they get to spend their time together.  Do not feel bad for moving on and making life better!!!  Good Luck!!!

[Ashley-PO2 Spouse]

routine is the best thing you can do. My Hubby leaves for months at a time at random. He's in a pilot training squadron, so they leave quite a bit. The best thing you can do is get you and your son into a routine. Leave room for your hubby to be part of it, but don't depend on him being there.

For us, a book in the evening is routine. Sometimes daddy reads it, and sometimes I do. But he had his schedule change three times in a month, so I don't rely on him being there for the story.

[Michelle]

My husband is in booth camp and i have two kids a two months old and a five year. I am so scared that when we move my five year old wont know how to deal with the move. Does anyone have any advice for me to help me help my son deal with our new life????!!!!!