Unprepared

[mum Z]

16hrs since I received that scripted phone call from my son. Unaware of the "scripted" part and or length of phone call (48 sec). I could hear stress in his voice. Also unaware of being able to have accompanied him to his recruiter meetings for preparation on what to expect after final swear in. Maybe he thought I wouldn't have been as supportive had I attended. Definitely unprepared for this journey. Never been away from my three children. My heart feels heavy. Experiencing detachment with my children becoming adults and leaving NEST that's been built with a strong foundation with walls insulated with ADT security. Now not even being able to communicate with my middle child and only son. I feel as if I'm grieving or had a loss. Emotions from PROUD, SAD, UNCERTAIN, EXCITED for his journey, and LONGING to hear him say "I'm going fishing". Never thought it would be so hard to fold his clothes, walk past his door, pick up his shoes, or not hear his car crank. Wondering if there are other navy moms who have experienced these feelings? Today only cried once and here I am writing without tissues thanks to the support from another navy mom (whose ex navy chief).  

[Lauryburg]

Awww, mumZ, I can totally relate and let me tell you you've come to the right place! Since everyone here has gone through, is going through or will soon go through this wonderful journey of Sailor creation, we are full of understanding and compassion. Some moms cry more than others (like me) hahaha, but everyone will be there for you.

I went through BC ten years ago and from what I've read, things are a little better now! However, you will meet new moms sharing your exact feelings right now.

Wish you and your recruit the best...things will get better!!!

[karenceubanks]

Change all of those feelings into PRIDE.  He is taking a huge step towards the rest of his life.  They will make an amazing man out of him.  He will be just fine, make good friends, and learn important things.  You will be OK Mom and so will he :).  I think all parents have those feelings.  Just be proud of him.  He is going to be proud of himself.

[Lauren - Ship 11 Div 317]

Well Said Karenceubanks!  The scale does tip back and forth from proud mom homesick mom, but leaning more and more in the Proud direction!  Congratulations to all the families on this huge step in their childs future!

[jenb]

Excellent point!!! My son leaves the 22nd of Oct and I am starting to get anxiety... sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the stress and forget we have to focus on the overwhelming amount of pride we have as parents and the pride our children will feel as well.... thank you , thank you, thank you..... {a hyper stressed mom... } :)

[allynbabs]

My son leaves on the 22nd as well. He's my youngest and so the last one to fly the nest... used to it. I'm very excited and proud. Know I'll miss him, but also know he'll be fine.

[MommaMandi]

we feel totally unprepared too! we knew that we wouldn't be able to talk regularly, and that we would have to find a new rhythm, but we were totally unprepared for the fact he would exclusively communicate with his girlfriend while in boot camp. She has recv'd all the phone calls, and letters, with the exception of the form letter and the box. He spoke to her for 30 min on Sunday, my husband and I were crushed that he didnt give us even three little min to hear his voice. We expected him to make her a priority, we didnt expect him to be his ONLY priority. My husband and I feel completely lost, just numb with heartache.

[lemonelephant]

(((((MommaMandi))))) That's a cyber hug from one Navy mom to another. Perhaps he feels this girlfriend is going to have a bigger part in his life than you thought. Perhaps you and she can keep each other informed on wat is going on and she can encourage him to call you as well.

Since you know his PIR date, go to http://www.navyformoms.com/forum/topics/groups-listed-by-pir-date and join the group for that. I also invite you to join Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones) and to check out the Pages (found under the pictures of the Members) there. I see you have joined 900's division sailors; the Page, 800 and 900 Divisions, will have some information for you.

[MomOfFutureAM (Ship12Div387)]

I my heart aches for you....hopefully he will start calling and mailing letters to you guys as well.  I know they don't get much time to write on sundays, but if your like me even a short letter would be wonderful.  If he calls her on her cell phone maybe suggest that she "add a call" (make it a 3 way call) while she has him on the phone and that way everyone can say hi.  

 

[tjhannick]

I am so sorry!! That is so hard. I get phone calls too but she for sure gets the most of the letters and calls. I have struggled with it for sure. Try writing to him and letting him know you need to hear from him too. Maybe he doesnt realize how hard it is for you. And communicate with her too that you would love to hear from him. Maybe she will pass it on and understand. Hang in there and lean on the other moms in FB and here. Keep writing to him so he knows you are there and you miss him and long to hear his voice. I didnt get letters at first but they started coming and that really helps. 

[patmsue]

IM afraid thats whats going to happen in my case as well,but as long as i no hes alright an if that helps him get through this then im fine with it,even though im crying everyday an feel so empty without him .i really need to find something to keep myself busy

[bisbee73]

patmsue - How is it going for you?  I'm getting close - Nov. 18th and I have turned into a basket case over night.  The empty feeling is the worst.  I work full-time so I know that will help get me thru the days but the nights the empty house are going to be unbearable.  If you found any tricks that helped you, please pass them along. 

[grandmalyons]

I was floored when he called last Saturday. His group nearly lost the privilege, but got their act together just in time.  Of course I cried when I got off the phone, but he sounded so enthusiastic about what he is doing.  That was exactly what I needed to hear.  And, it is enough to know that I am a priority with him.  He is becoming the young man I raised him to be, a man of honor and character.  What more could I ask of him?  I am still mourning the "empty nest."  I think that it is normal and healthy.  All three of my children are telling me I need to get out and do things.  It is their turn to believe in me.  So I resigned my job and will be moving to West Virginia by myself next week, to be a little closer to my aging parents, and to start the next chapter of my life.  At this point, the best way to show love for my children is to love and take care of myself, and to things I have always wanted to do.