Does it get easier?

[anchorsaweigh]

It has been so hard not to cry at everything that I see that reminds me of my daughter since she left 5 days ago.  I feel bad because she is doing the hard part, she has to be the tough one, and I keep breaking down.  I want things to get back to a normal state of sorts so that I can be ready for her next call and be encouraging.  I also have my other daughter to be there for.  Any suggestions?  I have been writing her a letter everyday, will that be embarrassing for her to get a stack of them all at once from her mom?  thanks for any help or suggestions!

[lemonelephant]

Check your My Page for info on groups to join.

[LMC -mom of 2 Sailors!]

Hugs. Read my comment I just posted. You girls will find 8 weeks goes fast. Remember 40 days for lent and Noah's ark well you're doing this and gonna get thru it. Hugs!!! And 8 weeks is about the time from Halloween to Christmas. Doesn't that time FLY by! I use Halloween as the start because yeah we are scared and worried but Christmas we celebrate a great day. Hugs!!! Hope I've helped and no I'm not super religious just find faith where it's found.

[Moonwillow]

Thanks. I needed that

[LMC -mom of 2 Sailors!]

I will venture on my 2 son (out of 3. Oldest and youngest took Navy route) this September and I'm pretty sure it will be as hard as the first one was. Yes it does get easier. Once you decide that they are doing what they felt called to do. Kids who never leave home aren't safe either. As moms our job was to show them how to handle their life not live our wanna be dreams for them. As moms we fill them with love and common sense. Right from wrong they learned from us. Yes sometimes they stumbled thru the years but we let them know the feeling that a stumble brings. We let them wipe themselves off and continue on. The time at boot camp isn't just hard it's a bonding period a time when they learn to have each other's back to work as a group to reach a task. It really isn't me first it's about us getting it done. Us parents at home are a strong part of them making. Letters from home that say hey I'm proud of you and keep going are important. The I miss you and well today you missed this make it harder. Tell them about the silly stuff and don't dwell on the things they are missing. When my son went to boot camp 4 years ago I kept a steno pad by it and would write like a conversation where I replied I figure you would of told me such and such. I complained about it being trash day and once again looks like I would be taking it out. But then I would say but it's ok because that means another week has passed and we're closer to PIR. Then I would go on about what type of outfit I thought I should get so he would be able to pick me out of the crowd. "You'd be happy to know the costume store is out of green hair wigs." As for you focus on what needs done. You have a trip to prepare for. Is the cR ready does it need an oil change? Do you have the pets taken care of. Go window shopping for your PIR outfit at least for 3 weeks then start finding what you really want to wear. Then it will be time for nails. Hotel arrangements I ternary of what to do in Chicago and things to see. Really they will just want to be walking around (after they slept most of Friday). My best to you as you journey! Send me a PM if you need too. I don't come on N4m's much anymore but felt you needed a reply from me. Hugs! Oh and it's alright to cry it helps us clean our eyes.

[anchorsaweigh]

Thank you so much!  I will do that!  I do need to focus more on the future!  I have written her everyday telling her to keep working hard and to count the days down!  I am grateful for you thinking of me!  Take care!

[Moonwillow]

How you holding up? My son left Monday and I am experiencing everything you wrote about I must think about him at least a million times a day and wonder what he is doing and how he is doing. I am sooooo proud of him.  My daughter is moving out to California in three weeks so I am trying to not show my emotion when she is around. I want my last few days with her to be enjoyable. 

Hang in there. I know this gets better, Just take it one day at a time.

[anchorsaweigh]

thank you!  You have a double whammy huh?  I am sorry!  That must be hard.  I am better now?  I am in the "acceptance phase"  ha ha!  I know she enjoys a challenge and this is what she's wanted to do since age 12.  So I need to let her become the best she can be.  I have learned to put my selfish thoughts aside and try not to be sad, but glad for her and proud of her.  She was my best friend.  I am sure that is how you feel too.  How are you holding up?  I got her form letter on day 11 (counting from the day she left).  I found lots of hints of when I will get things from her from this forum and it has so far been very on target.  Hang in there too, okay?  thanks for writing!  keep me posted on your son and daughter!

[eurekamom]

There's no such thing as too much mail!!!!  Good job, Mom!

It will get easier - I promise. It may also comfort you to know that your daughter is probably so busy right now that she only has time to miss YOU when she's gone to bed... and then she's going to be too tired to think of you for very long. Good for her, hard for you. My son told me that mail call waiting was the hardest part of the day. He said everyone got all tense, thinking "will I get something, will I get something?" and then there would be a wave of relief when your name was called.

I think that's great that you are planning to be ready for the next call - and I suggest that you have things written down to tell her. I would mix boring local things (the tulips are blooming, the gophers are doing their usual assault on the side yard, the high school basketball team just can't get it together) so that he could picture what was going on, but not feel like he was missing anything. If there was any exciting good news, I would tell him that. If it was bad news I didn't even mention it. Plenty of time for that later. And, it may sound silly, but if you need to cry then just cry... just try to pick your times. If you want to get in the shower in the morning and sob your guts out, go ahead. And as far as being there for your other daughter, when you are missing your Navy daughter, go hug the other one. Lavish all the help and attention you wish you could give to the one who's away, on the one who's right there. One time our son told us that a shipmate had written his required two letters the first time. The second time he wasn't writing and when the Chief asked him why, he said he had written to his foster parents and his ONE friend from high school, and there was no one else for him to write to... It made me cry, but then the Chief got him fixed up with the Molly's penpal group. My husband also pointed out that he would surely makes friends in boot camp and form bonds within different groups throughout his time in the Navy. Just hang in there, tackle some big jobs around the house, and keep that phone handy!  You never know when a call is coming.  Keep checking out this site too - and does your daughter's PIR group have a N4M subgroup? 

[anchorsaweigh]

Thank you for the helpful hints!  I will do that!  I wasn't sure on how to find the group.  I went under groups and typed in ship 02 div 913 and nothing came up.  I also did that under forums.  I have been on her facebook and mentioning things of interest to her.  I gave her address to her youth Pastor and a few friends.  I didn't get to ask her but I hope she thinks that's okay.  I just want her to get lots of mail!  I sent her ten letters today!  Accidentally mailed her form letter with all of it!  Got it back from the mail lady though!!!  So lucky!  Made three copies just in case I do something like that again!! 

[Island Girl]

My son is leaving in 3 weeks for boot camp, and I just joined "Navy Moms".  I'm not really sure how to navigate around here.  Do you know how to find "the group" that your daughter is with?  I'm already getting nervous!  Thx, Tracy

[lemonelephant]

Join the group, DEP-Leavin for bootcamp in May. You will meet others with loved ones leaving that day/week who may be in the same TG and have PIR together. Be sure to check out the discussion, Things to Do in the Last Month before Your Future Sailor Leaves for.... I also suggest you to join Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones) and begin checking out the Pages (found under the pictures of the Members) and Discussions there.

Your future Sailor may want to join http://www.navydep.com to learn the ins and outs from the DEP point of view. Craig runs that and will steer him to some good links on there.

I also left that info and more on your My Page.

Once your son is at the RTC, watch in Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones) and join the group for his PIR date once it forms. You will get the form letter letting you know when PIR is.