Not fitting in

[29junkie]

I really think this site is a great resource, but I don't think I'm fitting in well. My son left for BC yesterday and we had know since November he was. I'm not heartbroke, I'm not crying at the slightest thing, not sleeping with his pillow/shirt/stuffed animal, etc.

Not saying it wasn't hard to walk away. I cried. I worry. I'm concerned & hoping things go well, but also knowing he's going to have hard times. This is his journey though, not mine. I'm here to be strong for him & support him.

I guess seeing everyone's post make me wonder if I'm heartless. I would love to comment on posts, but I think my posts won't really feed into the tears & loneliness.....

Any others out there like me just looking for information & friends that are on the same page I am?

[mecanfly]

It is great that you wrote this post and that it still receives responses.  I feel the same way: I cry tears of joy, I acknowledge that he is out of high school and needs to begin his journey of adulthood, I'll always worry about him because he's my son, but he hasn't been my little boy since his first day in high school, and I'm glad for it.  I am a supportive parent where I do write to him everyday and he has told me via telephone call and his second letter that he wrote that he appreciates it and to please keep them coming.  I've also been writing another SR who is in the same division that he's in because that other man hasn't got the support that he would like.  In any case, I am sympathetic to those that their men/women have had rough times but I can't relate to the other situations which you have shared.  I wish every single SR/Sailor the very best on their journey and I do thank Navy for Moms for the information made available, but I especially thank you 29junkie for writing this post to acknowledge my sentiment.

[mecanfly]

I pray that your daughter is proactive for her journey because my son was reactive.  Therefore, the first two weeks were rough on him and I mean he was pessimistic on his choice.  Nevertheless, I kept it real with him while at the same time ensuring him that he can and will push through and be proud of himself.  I believe that the Navy DEP is a blessing in disguise; that is, our son's/daughter's have an opportunity to prepare and with all the resources available for their generation, it makes the whole transition a bit easier. May your daughter's career path be successful and may you have comfort that you have raised a daughter who has made such a mature decision and is a courageous woman! 

[GrannyJ]

Too funny Loren's Mom.  I highly suspect she will learn REAL quickly that there is not going to be anyone waiting on her!!!  LOL

[MaggieMay]

LOL that is funny!  But I suggest you cook for her while you still got her home.  Once they're gone they really really miss mama's home cooking!  My son was home on leave about a month ago and all he wanted to do was eat!  I sent him back to Japan a few pounds heavier!!!  Good luck to your daughter.  Hope she has a great Navy experience!

[Carla Street]

Nope, not heartless.  My Julie has been out for years but I didn't cry or get all worked up either.  She was so positive and wanted it so bad I was just happy for her.   I was anxious sometimes, worried but I just supported her and educated myself on the navy as much as I could.  Became quite an expert at it.  At that time this site wasn't active and our yahoo site Navy Moms was going strong. It's pretty much died out now.

Visit the navy site, explore this one.  Ask questions and just be pro active.  It's a great ride and the navy can be pretty cool.    

I just pop in rarely now since Julie is a veteran now but your post caught my eye.   Best of luck to you and your sailor!

[Loving Mom]

I am sure you are not heartless.  We all handle this "separation" in different ways.  I think the feeling of "unknowing" is the hardest part.  I miss my son, I cried a lot the first week....but it is getting better.  Those darn storms had me all worried again, though, I must admit.  Our recruits need to stand on "their on two feet".  I am so proud of my son and keep all of our recruits in my daily prayers.  God bless.......looking forward to PIR.  I am sure there will be more tears.  I assume they play music of different kinds.  Music makes me cry so I will be a mess.  Those of  you who have attended.....please tell me they do not play "God Bless the U.S.A.".  Always a tear jerker.  One day at a time for the parents and recruits.

[DoubleNavyMom]

Just wanted to update everyone on my daughter's medical hold release, successful swim/battle stations, & best of all - shipping out to her A School in CA tomorrow;)
Always enjoy the comments here. It helps me feel like I DO fit in..........

[Hootsmom]

Right here with you. I am of course sad my son has left I do miss him. But I'm not curled up on the couch, I'm here to get information so I can support him. I am proud of his choices and he is, as you said, on his journey that as a parent we have been empowering him to take since he was born. I try to understand how others feel and are affected by their kids leaving but their leaving has been the deal from the beginning. So I'm right with you.

[Kylesmom]

Everyone reacts differently.  My Son had originally decided to enlist his Jr. year and I was all good and just as gung ho with his decision then.  His Dad talked him out of signing papers at 17 and instead wanted him to wait and see what happened with his Sr football and basketball seasons.  He was recruited to play basketball at a school just 2 hours north of our house.  I was so excited.  He was getting his independence and I was keeping my boy close to home where I could see him whenever I wanted.  Fast forward to a few weeks ago when we are getting ready to sign financial aid paperwork and he decides he wants to go talk to his recruiter one more time.  Next thing I know he's signing paperwork alright but its not the paperwork I was expecting.  So here come the waterworks.  I am good with the decision he made.  Its what he was meant to do.  I have no doubt about that and if I hadn't gotten my hopes up about 4 more years of him close by before he enlisted I wouldn't be as emotional I don't think. 

Everyone processes things in their own way and in their own time you are not heartless.  Besides who's to say you wont have that moment when it hits you and you need someone to turn to.  If you do everyone's here.  If you don't, no one is judging you.  We are all in the same boat here...with pride in our hearts rather there are tears in our eyes or not. 

[Annette]

I didn't cry or get upset. It didn't bother me when I entered his empty room. I worry that he does well and is happy and stays safe. I love hearing from him but I am not a basket case because he is gone. He is living the life he chose and he is happy. I haven't seen him in a year but we keep in touch. He is in Yokosuka, Japan. We all handle it differently. You are not alone. He hasn't made me feel sad or lonely...just proud.

[Erics Mother]

How familiar you sound. I miss my son but i'm like you, I love him but I look forward to him having difficulties because I know he will learn from them. They will only be difficult because he may be week in that area of life. He will have his stronger points and become stronger and excel in those areas. 

He will learn lots of good stuff in boot camp but I have been there and done that.  I made it thru and it was difficult at times for me, but I really wanted it. I feel my son will make it either with luck or desire to get thru. Really it's up to him. 

I love him and miss him but I am so very proud that he will have difficult moments and learn from them. 

[Hello2u]

no worries :)