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Comment by Somerset08 on November 25, 2018 at 6:00pm

Hi Smoothsailing. He’s at A school technically I guess. He graduated on 11/9. 

Comment by Smoothsailing on November 25, 2018 at 5:58pm

Remind me sommerset, is your sailor between bootcamp and A school right now? Just can’t remember when your PIR was. 

Comment by Somerset08 on November 25, 2018 at 3:43pm

Good Afternoon and Happy Sunday! Has anyone heard that their Sailor's training was going to be delayed due to the holidays? 

Comment by Marianne on November 20, 2018 at 5:29pm

AntiM, so very sorry for your loss.  Unfortunately when tragedy strikes the true color comes out of folks.  They are either a leaf, a branch or a root.  Not many people know how to express themselves in your situation sadly.  We don't know how to love on folks during loss - words to say - I think silence often is better.  Ring the doorbell and show up...nothing more needs to be said.

Please continue to post and let us know how your'e doing.  The photo is just so beautiful and it looks like you touched many lives together...God Bless.

Comment by Myjazzy on November 20, 2018 at 5:01pm

Thanks for all the ideas.  

Comment by Phoenixmom on November 20, 2018 at 12:55pm

I just Love Love this Picture, Anti M You have such a Wondeful Beautiful  smile, you two look very good together. Many (((((Hugs)))) and well wishes to you My Friend. We will not be doing much this Thanksgiving usually we have a Big fallout with family, but because My hubby is going in for his Biopsys sat. he wanted to stay low. which I am ok with. cooking for everyone can be an all day thing. I'm praying for the best outcome with all of this, although the first time was stage two Cancer of the neck and throat, so here we find ourselves going back at it. I believe there is no Perfect marriage, but we strive to make it the best for each other and for our children and grandchildren. I have been with my Husband since I was 16 yrs old, he is older than I but age didnt matter and doesnt matter. He is my backbone and I am his. He just turned 57 and I 53. we have worked our Butts off to succeed in this thing called Life (which sucks at times) excuse my Language, but it is always the unexpected to happen to those that just strive for Better.. I'm with you on all that Mrs. Anti M, I am trying really hard to keep my head up and keep the faith as we will see what these testings will show. Oh and by the way I love the beard he reminds me of the group ZZ Top (am I showing my Age) LOL!

Comment by Anti M on November 20, 2018 at 11:38am

Losing a spouse affects every aspect of life.  Some changes are huge, but it is the small things which break your heart.  

Comment by Stbl on November 20, 2018 at 10:29am

Anti M I love the picture. Losing someone suddenly is the hardest thing ever, it being your spouse, I can only imagine. My love and prayers to you and (((hugs))). ❤️

Comment by Anti M on November 20, 2018 at 5:10am

Comment by Anti M on November 20, 2018 at 5:08am

Thank you Allison, I appreciate that very much.  Sometimes posting here feels like shouting into the void, you never know who is listening, and it is rare to get an acknowledgement.  I try to be kind, to be up to date.  The words here may get pushed down, but the internet is forever.  Might as well strive to be nice, to be useful.  I have to step back from r/USmilitarySO on Reddit a lot, or I'd get banned. My "nice" includes "suck it up buttercup" when they're just at boot camp.  Come on, eight weeks won't kill you.

He was a wonderful man, our marriage had hard times, but we always stuck together, stuck it out.  He was only 58.  Cancer took him in three short weeks, and he wasn't even very lucid for that last week.  Didn't even get to start chemo or anything.  So I am still in shock a bit.  My charmed life is gone.  I have a house which is paid for, but which has a big yard and a lot of "handywork" which needs done.  I have friends and support, but almost everyone who said they would be here, would do anything for me, has forgotten me.  I get likes on FB pictures, but no one to come rake the leaves or put up the Christmas lights.  It sucks.  

Holidays?  I'm getting "pity turkey".  I'm doing Reddit Secret Santa for Christmas, but I won't be at Santa Rampage in Vegas.  That was our thing, when we could.  He was often on the road for the holidays, so the guys with kids could be home. The Navy prepared us to be apart, but this is much worse than any deployment.  No Homecoming, ever. 

I can give really good advice about how to prepare for the unexpected, DFAS survivorship, the VA, and how to be sure you have access to your own money and credit cards.  Cremation insurance, that sort of thing.  No one wants to think of such things.  I glad we did.

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