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Comment by Emily-aaronsgirl11 on July 20, 2011 at 3:50pm

This is totally off topic, but its been on my mind all day (well, the past several days). I am so so glad that Aaron's a Nuke and will be out to sea. My cousin's Marine husband deployed to Afghanistan today. And my heart is breaking for the two of them. Separation is hard enough without having to worry about your husband being killed... At least I don't have to worry about that too much with Aaron. Just those silly pirates out there and I know our military is kicking their butt. :)

Comment by Jo1 on July 20, 2011 at 3:31pm

I have really enjoyed reading all this marriage talk.  My son doesn't have a girlfriend yet so I can't really make any comments.  My only advice for the young couples is to finish your education even if it means being apart for awhile.  If it's true love it will last.  With the economy the way it is you must have a decent education to get a job and that will allow you to have a comfortable life and a much happier marriage.  :)

Comment by NancyJo (NNPTC) on July 20, 2011 at 3:17pm

When my daughter was 18 she got engaged to a less than savory fellow and she knew dad and I would not be thrilled.  But she was engaged so we had a nice long talk to her, pointed out why we felt the way we did, said we understood why she felt the way she did, and if at the end of it all she still wanted to marry him and would willingly accept all the consequences that went with that, good and bad, we would give them our blessing.

Two weeks later, she gave back the ring. Not so easy with my son <sigh>. He's stubborn. Anyway, my future DIL told my son that she thinks I am amazing so I guess so far so good.

 

Meanwhile, I should talk. After 23 years of marriage, I am divorced. So I'm probably not the best person to say anything anyway. It will all work out in the end. It always does one way or another. It's all good.

Comment by William in Nashua on July 20, 2011 at 3:06pm

Thanks J's Mom of course we can't apply the Vulcan method to all situations; but we can to many.  Lol.

Comment by TN Navy Mom (Stennis Nuke Mom) on July 20, 2011 at 2:53pm

The marriage talk tickles me!!!  I am lucky that my husband and I both adore our DIL (not so much early early into the relationship but a different story entirely).

 

Recently she asked on FB "Are there really soulmates or is it just poetic bull@#$*"  I HAD to comment.  I told her "poetic BS.  You find someone you love, who loves you.  Someone you would die for who would die for you.  Someone you love enough NOT to follow through with the murderous impulses that are inevitable once in a while.

 

Since she is married to my sailor son, I certainly hope that she can control herself and not kill him, but sometimes I could understand why she might want to!!!!  I've told her more than once, I didn't chose him, you did.  I've done my part he's yours now!!!!

Comment by maryquitecontrary (1131 M) on July 20, 2011 at 2:24pm

Love the marriage talk...at work and have been unable to get on to check. Really appreciate all of the advice being provided on how to make a marriage work... Always looking for tricks of the trade! :) I think the school thing is a really big issue for couples looking to get married. I've seen girls in other groups making the comment about choosing their guy or school...and I don't think it should be an or! There is going to be a lot of alone time when bf/fiancé/hubby is at school or deployed and I think having an education can go a long way in that situation. All of us wives and wives-to-be need to have our own interests and dreams that we are pursuing! Back to work...keep the marriage tips coming!! :)

Comment by MNSunshine on July 20, 2011 at 2:06pm

I certainly didn't mean to start anything here.  Every situation is different and we each have to live in our own skin ... my sailor included.  It's just difficult as a mom when red flags pop up over and over.  This is his path ... he has to navigate it ~ and deal with the consequences.  My sailor happens to be young (just 19).  :)

Comment by NavyMomLG on July 20, 2011 at 1:46pm

I think we have a very special group of girlfriends/wives here... I can't speak for the rest of the moms, but I certainly hope that when my son decides he has found "the one" she is just like these young women, whether they are 20 or 40.

Comment by amanda on July 20, 2011 at 1:23pm

quiltblue- wow, you and your husbands beginnings sound just like mine :) 

 

Nice to hear all the early marriage stories and that there's hope for us. After our 4 years together, we've been through soo much and spent 3 of those years in a long-distance relationship. Not to say that that's what a carrier will be like at all, I definitely know it'll get harder before it gets easier, but I'll just do what I did during BC: talk to him when I can then put on my big girl panties and continue on what I'm doing without getting mad/upset that I can't talk to him. Even during a-school and power I'd never force him to talk to me on Skype and would cherish even the 15 minutes we'd have sometimes without a gripe towards him. And now during Proto, even though we live together, I get him for sometimes not even an hour before he's eaten, showered, and asleep. 

Comment by quiltblue on July 20, 2011 at 1:06pm

My son is 25 and doesn't want to date or look for a gf, he is saving his money and wants to have all his debts paid off (his car) before he gets deployed!

  I met his Dad just before my 16th birthday and we married 3 1/2 years later. This year we will celebrate 34 years of marriage - we were each others 1st, and I think that has helped us "remain" faithful to each other and our vows. Everyone in his family said it wouldn't last, especially his Grandmother and Aunt... needless to say, after three children and now 2 Grandchildren, I think they can trust that we do love each other. I am looking forward to my youngest moving out later this year (she is graduating college - yippee!) and being alone with him all the time! 

   Have fun in GC with your son Mama-C! Hope the two 17 year old girls get along or it will be a very long trip!

  William, I am always happy to read your comments... 

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