Comment

Comment by Aggie08Mom (ship 02,div. 903) on July 20, 2011 at 11:19am

I'm lucky that my nuke son doesn't have a gf right now, but Mama C, your comment about a long car ride telling you things was right on.  Last year I was in a 7-hr. car ride with my older son's gf, and she told me just in the course of conversation that she never wanted kids.  Talk about a shock.  She was very definite that she'd never change her mind even though people thought she would.  Luckily that relationship didn't last much longer, because I too want a ton of grandkids.

 

Another matter -- my nuke son failed his first test in power school last week.  He's been consistently getting 3's and better, so this 2.43 has really bummed him out.   It was in a geothermal class or something like that.  Do you guys who have sailors further along (my son's about half way through power school) know if things just keep getting tougher, or is he maybe just at a tough point right now?  I'm worried about him, because when he called to tell me about that test for the first time he sounded really down.

Comment by Andi6109 on July 20, 2011 at 11:12am

I have to put my 2 cents in now... We met march of 2009, and started dating by june that summer. the following january he enlisted and by october 2010 he was leaving for BC. We just celebrated our 2 years last month, and since he has gotten out of BC we have had a lot of marriage talks. I would be ok with whatever. I moved closer to him so I am about 2 hours from GC and can see him on weekends and such because before I moved we were 8 1/2 hours apart. This whole separation has tested us but we always come out on top. He is not one to rush things and neither am I (took us 8 months to say I love you!!) and we both agree getting married now would be wonderful...the fact of him coming home to me everyngiht (since we have already lived together before this whole process) and he said it might make it easier on him in school, but he really wants to focus on studies, wants me to get my own life so we are waiting to re-discuss marriage until after prototype. we are both 24, I recently finised grad school and have the whole world ahead of me. he is on hold for power. we agreed I would go out to his first duty station. Now all of this is not to say I wouldn't love to marry him this weekend...I say to each his own. Nothing against those who are married/thinking about it/engaged. Every situation and every person is different. I am loving all the stories though. But yes he wants to get thru school first and I love him and he knows I am willing to wait as long as it takes him to be ready

Comment by elizabeth77(USS SAN FRANCISCO) on July 20, 2011 at 10:57am

My son is steadfast in his desire to remain single all the way through the Navy.  He does not "like" long distance relationships.  At this stage in his life I think he just likes to hang out with women, dance, party...let out stress and then focus on what he wants to accomplish.  He already knows he wants to re enlist for 2 years.  He says those two years will be state side so he can handle it.  This he has said because I asked him if he planned on doing it before he sees what a deployment is like and that was his answer.  THe other thing he likes to do is fish.  Yesterday I called him with an important family issue and I said, "Honey, you are on grad hold and I know you are not stressed so it really means a lot to me when I can talk to you about these things."  His answer was, "I need to call you back."  Now mind you it wasn't urgent just a pretty serious conversation I wanted to have with him about his sister.  When he called back hours later he said, "Mom I don't like to talk when I'm fishing."  This is a new past time for him but one that he has dove into head first.  He fishes ALOT.  He also now owns ALOT of fishing equipment. He even found time to fish when he was in Power School.  I hope if he goes to Ballston Spa there are places to fish.

EMily the situation you described STINKS.  WIlliam your comment clearly stated the obvious.  Mary you crack me up.  I can tell you are a wild typer and your toddlers and tiara comment is the kind of teasing only your family knows how to do right!

Comment by Bandito's Mom on July 20, 2011 at 10:49am

Great treasures here.  Finally laughed out loud, all by myself! Especially the image of putting condems in the car!  My friend told me that she bought a box and had it in her boys bathroom, just in case.  And every once in awhile she would go check to see if any were missing!  I went to the pharmacy looked at all the different types and wasn't able to buy them.  But I guess I drilled in the "don't get a girl pregnant".

Great, great wisdom on this site.  Homecomings as hard of an adjustment as Deployment.  I am still letting everything you said sink in.  Poor kids, they are coming for dinner tonight.  I know I will be trying to impart all sorts of wisdom to them.  He's not even in BC and I get my education from Nuke Moms!

 

Comment by William in Nashua on July 20, 2011 at 10:04am

A knocked up homewrecker hoping pregnancy is her ticket out of the Navy meets an adulterous shipmate too dumb to use a condom. Nice. Never a dull moment at nuke school Lol.

Comment by NavyMomLG on July 20, 2011 at 9:13am

Mama C - enjoy your trip to SC! There is so much to see and do, but most importantly, enjoy your time with your son!

Comment by CindyLou (Louisville) on July 20, 2011 at 9:11am

I met my husband when I was 17 years old. We dated for 3 1/2 years and got married when we were 20. We have now been together for 26 years! I don't think getting married young is a cause of high divorce rate. I think naive and unrealistic views of what married life is like is the biggest cause. .Both partners have to work together, it cannot be all one sided. You have to share in the work and responsibilities. You have to be there for each other during the rough patches and then you can celebrate the good times and enjoy the rewards in life together. No matter what your age, you just need to be mature enough to know what marriage really is.

Comment by swim4life on July 20, 2011 at 9:09am

Emily,

  I think you are wonderful, and Aaron is lucky!  As far as what it takes to be a military wife, my Grandmother was my example.  Grandpa was an army colonel, so she raised 3 children and moved all over creation, trying to make each new place a "home".  She was strong, independent, read her bible every morning, and always had a sense of humor.  She invited friends over for dinner on Sunday and was a fabulous hostess, even after Grandpa died.  (I'm sure she did this when he was deployed, too!)  I think it takes a very strong, independent woman to succeed in a military marriage, or any marriage for that matter!  A sense of humor helps a lot, and so does faith.  And being crazy about your man and totally devoted to him helps, too!  I have always felt that if I work as hard at home as my husband does at work, things will work out.  We've been married 30 years....and yes, I still mow the lawn.!!!

Comment by amanda on July 20, 2011 at 9:08am

Denise- LOVED your pep talk :) I hope I can find a Sea mom like you did.

 

Bandito- I wish there was a boot camp for us wives! I mean, ya having the Long-term relationship was a test, but there's no crash course on how to be a good girlfriend/wife and what it's going to be like for the rest of the 6+ years. Maybe we can start a N4M gf/wife boot camp and not let our sailors date someone until their potential date passes lol

Comment by Mama C (PS E-Class 1202-1) on July 20, 2011 at 8:46am

This is an interesting conversation.  I'm dealing with a similar situation.  My son,  (19yrs.) is in A School and has a GF (17 yrs.) here at home.  They started dating somewhere around the first of the year, he left for BC in March.  They saw each other the endo of May in SC.  In early June, he tells me "he thinks she's the one".  I don't want to encourage of discourage it, but I did tell him that if "she was IT" that I would be happy for him.  If if didn't work and she couldn't handle the separation for at least the next 2 yrs. and they broke it off, I would be sorry for him ahead of time.

I'm headed to SC tomorrow and yes, the GF is going along with me and my daughter.  It'll be an interesting trip - 14 hrs. in a car will tell alot!  Even my daughter wants to see how they interact with each other and she's only 17 yrs. old herself! 

Both sets of parents agree that GF needs to get through college first.  That's always been priority for her family.  My son has 2 yrs. of Nuke school, plus deployment.  Only time will tell.  Will both of them be prepared for long separations and no contact - don't know.  I guess we'll see........sigh

 

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