Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

Hang in there Liz! BNMHs. You will get your first call in a couple weeks and it will be just a little better, and then the 2nd call and letters. My friend’s daughter just graduated a couple of weeks ago and now she’s at A school and she hears from her daily!! Might just be a text but she gets calls too. You will get through this. Stay close to this site and also do you have some close friends to help keep you distracted? Or any hobbies? Can I tell you that I have a messy basement that I have put off cleaning for like 10 years and I cleaned it the 1st week he was gone? Took me three entire days- 26 bags of trash and 10 to Good Will. It’s important to find some things for yourself to do to stay busy especially the first few weeks. It IS hard. This IS a sacrifice. But how proud we all are of our children defending this great nation and keeping generations safe. I think sometimes why my kid? But ours are super special. Not everyone gets the calling and not everyone makes it. She is getting stronger during this process and so are you. But she is not gone just away for now…and you will hear from her soon! We are here for you. 

Liz Hang in there. It does get a bit easier with time. Those first two weeks for me were torture - lots of random crying, difficulty sleeping...etc.  My boy is just finishing his 7th week - and while I miss him TERRIBLY - I don't cry that often and overall I'm staying strong. I remind myself that if he can do tough things then so can I. This process has definitely made me stronger - just like it's making him stronger. Hang in there. You (and your girl) will be just fine! 

Good Morning All!! I have my RED on how about you? !

PIR goes live at 0900 - it says CST but we are still on CDT - It should be just a little over an hour away! RTC Public Affairs - YouTube - For those with a SR in a 900 division, hope you spot yours!! For others, I recommend watching at least one on a reply (so you can FFwd) before your own, to help you know what to expect. 

Amy - I chuckled at your post!!!  You have a long drive, but I will say, we also drove, and it ended up being for the best as we had a lot more flexibility in my opinion than others. And with the situation with our sailor not getting to leave right after PIR (even though he should have been able to as a sailor who was flying out), we did not have to make adjustments with a taxi.

Be sure you have your car registration papers with you, make sure your car tags and insurance are all to date and that you have those papers with you as well. My son's PIR was prior to the guest tickets being issued, so we had to show all our ID proof, car registration proof, and parking pass at the gate. I don't know if you still do that or not, but our state does not require us to keep our proof of car registration in our vehicles, so I had to make sure we had it. 

tammybikerunfaithlove - The Navy has a way of putting all of us moms with A type personalities and always in control of our kid's schedules in our place! Once they leave for BC, they will forever be our children - but we are no longer the authority in their life telling them when and where to be at what time. As hard as that is on us, it is also hard on our loved ones as they realize they don't really own their time, the Navy does. 

Liz - How are you doing? I did not use Sandboxx - did not even know about it. Did you see BelovedbyHim asking if there was a particular reason you were asking? To my knowledge, the divisions still have to train their recruit petty officer for the mailroom before the mail is delivered to the division and that includes the Sandboxx letters as well. 

Melissa - BNMHs !!

Liz - I see you just posted; we were typing at the same time. I will read what you wrote and reply again. 

Hi Moms! I got my 10 sec call at midnight. He is in BC. I was able to take my middle son to the airport yesterday and we spent a few hours in the USO. I'm so grateful for that! Initially, the gate agents told me they don't give passes, but I kept gently insisting because I read it here! I said to them, "I know you can give us passes because the moms group said so!" We talked as much as we could from the airport and texted. Unfortunately, he called while I was at the emergency vet with my daughter since while he was in the air, our 16 year-old family cat got very sick and we have to put him down today. I didn't want my SR to worry so I told him everything was fine.

Needless to say, last night wasn't great and I feel like I have been awake for a week. Every time I think of him or someone asks, I start crying. He has only been away from home once, to go to Disney for senior trip and he called me every day at least 3 times. This is so hard. I read stuff on my phone that I know he would like, but can't send it to him. I am counting the seconds until PIR!

you can still send it to his phone and he will get a huge amount of messages after graduation... or those are the kind of things to write in your letters, start now. I would open up a file and every day type stuff in to send. later would use sandboxx to copy/paste plus any other stuff to say..   I have just the one son and I homeschooled him so yeah, he didn't go out overnight much, other than grandparents and a few nights when he had an early class at the community college and stayed with our friends, but he was already older at that point.  Good call on the kitty.. sorry for your loss, but we decided if something bad came up that we would just not mention it.. they have enough to figure out and deal with..

CBMom - WooHOO!! Way to go on the decluttering!! That is Awesome!! My sailor was the one that would help me with such things around the house and I did not do a good job of keeping up the decluttering when he left. Instead, I found myself on this site daily, reaching out and helping others in both the BC Mom, but primarily in the Nuke Mom group. 

I do say though, staying busy helps. We had a lot going on the summer while he was at BC and it helped me so much.

Liz - You are not alone. I don't know how many moms that I have come across in the last 5 years on this site who have sent their only child off to BC or were single moms for whatever reason. When your children have been with you always and never left for camp or any sleepovers, this separation can be a shock. When our girls would be off to camp, or when they first left for college, we would walk by their rooms and that emptiness was so hard, but we still knew we could reach them, or they could reach us if needed. 

Sending our kids to BC with absolute silence, knowing they can't reach us - Oh MY - that tears at our momma hearts, but there is a reason!  Our kids have to know they can leave their family behind and learn to trust and rely on their fellow shipmates, and us - well we have to learn how to reach out to each other. How to stay connected with others who understand. How to get connected to our ombudsmen, when our sailors are out to sea. All of this is a learning process, and you are just in the first weeks. There is nothing wrong with being transparent, it is good and there is nothing wrong with shedding tears. 

When those moments of missing the most come, those are the times that I have to remind myself - OK, Chipmunk - maybe there is a reason for your heart strings to be tugging, and so I stop and pray for my SR (now sailor), I pray for my sailor gal - I also pray for my other children. I can't do anything personally to heal their hurts, fix their boo boos, or take their punishment - but I know the One who can, and I have had a lot more years to be putting this into practice and I still stumble, but that is why I stick around to keep encouraging, and to receive encouragement. 

I am glad that you are sharing. I am glad when I read all of the posts from our other new members who are posting. It makes my heart sing!

Melissa - My condolences on the loss of your family cat. That is hard. Be sure to put your pictures of your cat some place where you can easily access them in a file. I say this, because even though our family cat had passed away prior to BC, he had been my sailor's companion since he was a baby. The pictures he has asked for the most during his time in school or out to sea, has been those of his cat. Happy thoughts for him.  

I am glad you "gently" insisted. I think I forgot to mention before that the airlines do have the right to decline guest passes and they do not have to issue them. FYI for anyone else that runs into a similar situation. But I am glad that we "Navy Moms" gave you some clout!

Good Morning Trey & Ummi - May you have a wonderful weekend. Trey - where did you stay in GL? 

Ummi - any words of encouragement to share with those who have a SR in RCU? 

Good Morning and Happy Friday!  

Yes, PIR is going on live right now - here's the link again for anyone interested in watching:

PIR SEPTEMBER 2, 2022

Amy - Here are some motel comments from some of the Beyond BC group - 

Pizanche said - "we stayed at the Comfort Inn and Suites in Libertyville.  We had a suite which was nice because sailor wanted to shower and relax. It was big enough, but I don't know if I would recommend it, because of the sink not working in the kitchen and a Cheeto being there when we came and when we left (under the chair) but it was right during the Covid stuff so not a lot of staff (8/2021) but it was comfortable."

Andrea says "I recommend Courtyard by Marriott in Waukegan.  Ask for a room with the courtyard view which you will have a balcony.  My son wanted to hang out in the hotel.  If you change out of uniform, you must stay in your room.  This gave us extra space and the weather was warm and sunny. Having the balcony was great.  There are many food options right there as well."

Here is a link from Great Lakes regarding their Updated Liberty Rules during PIR weekend, effective August, 2022. (Thank you Amy for sharing this with me.)  I'll post it in a few different places. (Great Lakes groups and I posted it up above.)

Updated Liberty Rules for GL - August 2022

GREAT LAKES SCHOOL
LIBERTY PIR WEEKEND INFORMATION
The Great Lakes School has split and become 2 different Commands with differentrules. One of the different rules is PIR weekend and Liberty. One allows all weekend Liberty and one does not. Below is a list of the 2 Commands and what
ratings (jobs) fall under each.

SWESC Great Lakes: Does allow overnights Pick up after transfer, return Sunday night (Monday if a holiday). Phone muster (call in attendance) each Liberty day. Sailors will find out all the rules during transfer, including curfew Sunday or
Monday (if a holiday). See ratings/jobs below that fall under this school.

SCSTC/NETC: Does not allow overnights. They will have daytime (aka Cinderella) Liberty. They will find out what their pick and curfew times each day are during transfer. See ratings/jobs below that fall under this school.

SWESC Great Lakes: Surface Warfare Engineering Training Command
https://www.facebook.com/SWESCGL/
All the Engineering Rates:
Machinist Mate (MM)
Electricians Mate (EM)
Boatswain's Mate (BM)
Gas Turbine System Technicians (GS)
(GSE/GSM)
Hull Technician (HT)
Quartermaster (QM)
Engineman (EN)
Machinery Repairman (MR)
Damage Controlman (DC)
Partial BECC Basic Engineering
Common Core School (E-Pact)
Surface Common Core (S-Pact)
NETC: Surface Combat Systems Training Command
https://www.netc.navy.mil/Commands/Surface-Combat-Systems-Training-...
AfVvo-F85jF-4/
Navy Enlisted
Electronics Technician (ET)
Fire Controlman (FC)
Fire Controlman (Aegis) (FCA)
Gunner's Mate (GM)
Interior Communications Electrician
(IC)

Mineman (MN)

Operations Specialist (OS)

Sonar Technician (Surface) (STG)

Melissa -- I'm so sorry!! That's a rough way to start this journey.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your companion.  Letting a beloved pet go is never an easy decision.  They love us unconditionally and we wish they could be with us forever. 
Don't withhold your tears.  You have reason to be sad and to cry.  Not only are you saying goodbye to your cat but also you are releasing your child to the Navy.  This is an adjustment.  There will be a time to "put on your Big Girl Navy Panties" and "buck up Buttercup" but that time is not today.  Allow yourself time to grieve and then when you are not so raw, you can begin to pick up the pieces.  Be kind to your heart.  You are stronger than you may know but you don't need to beat yourself up to prove it.  You'll get there!! (Now if you are still this way in 9 weeks.... That's a WHOLE 'Nother issue... But less than 24 hours in AND having to put down a pet.... Well... {{{{{{BNMH}}}}}}}} That's just rough all around!!)
On a slightly different note, I believe I left the link to my blog on your page.  There is a timeline that gives you a rough idea on what to expect and approximately when.  This is NOT a hard and fast rule but a guideline.  The Airport is also NOT a given!! Most of that info was PRE- Covid.  The rules absolutely can and do change and it's completely up to the airport about getting gate passes.  They can say no and they are well within their rights to do so!! That also goes for TSA... They can deny you passage beyond the check point.  I'm glad they issued the gate pass but for others, They may say no, so be aware that it's not a given. (Sometimes tears can have their uses but not always!)
This is hard!! Try and Mark Fridays instead of Seconds.  It's easier on the heart to think it's ONLY 10!!! You can count to 10!! You've been doing it since you were little!! So... 10 is Easy!! If you need to start with 10 minutes.  Can you focus on something else for 10 minutes?  Then 10 hours? Then 10 days... 10 weeks.... Before you know it all 10 will be used up and he'll be a Sailor!!  You got this!! We will be here the whole time!!

TREY and UMMI!!!! Enjoy those AWESOME SAILOR HUGS!!!!!
Soak up every second and make AWESOME Memories!!! I'm so Happy for you both!!! You MADE IT!!!!

Melissa - BNMHs - so sorry about your kitty - that's heartbreaking. Agree with the call on not telling your SR - that can come later. Like others have said - give yourself time to grieve - your kitty and your SR heading off to the hands of the Navy. This is hard and it's okay to cry. I've had a lot of big ugly cries - I've needed to. But it does get easier with time.

Trey & Ummi - Enjoy graduation today ladies - and enjoy those sailor hugs! So excited for you! Hope traveling has gone without a hitch!  

Liz - hang in there!!! One day, one step at a time! 

Sooo happy it's Friday!  BUT... I need to get myself some red shirts to wear - I seriously don't own ONE red shirt! LOL 

Melissa - so sorry to hear about your fur baby - hugs to you.

BZ to all the new Sailor's today!

My apologies - I think my post to Trey & Ummi was misrepresented. They both have sailors who are Beyond BC, but I knew they had answers to some of my questions for all of you. 

jt3Navy - Welcome Aboard!! Be sure to come here, say hello, and let everyone where you are at in this Navy journey. Feel free to ask any questions here. 

Thanks to you all. I'm not ashamed to say that I am really struggling

Melissa - It is understandable!! 

OOPS... sorry...trey and ummi....

So who is at PIR today?  I thought we had moms this week.... I didn't do a good job of writing them down...
Maybe a BC roll call...
Name- PIR or Expected PIR if you haven't got the letter yet.
Or Beyond if they are in A-school or Beyond!

Melissa!!! {{{{It's going to be ok!!!}}}}} You are allowed to struggle.  You have been through a LOT in the last 72 hours!! Can you get a nap or just a long hot soak and a good relaxing beverage?   {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

I'm so glad I found this page!! You moms are fantastic!

Melissa - You are fantastic too!!! You are a Navy Mom!!

It's okay to be a mess..  we all get it.. and understand..

Question: are they ever allowed to call home from BC?

Melissa,  YES!  I got the I'm here call, a call at about week 3, a medical call (my SR was injured), another call, call after BattleStations, and call after passed final PFA (fitness assessment)  Most of the time she had about an hour to talk and was able to call multiple people.  All of our calls came from area code 847.

Melissa - I don't recall, did you say you received your "I'm Here" call? That would have come in late last night. Not everyone gets one, so if you did not - it is okay, it is just a short, scripted call. 

Then they generally get to call around the 3-week mark, another around the 6th week mark, and I think now they have not only their "I'm a sailor" call after Battle Stations, but one after they pass their final PFA, since BC has been extended to 10 weeks. 

This page from the upper right side of our group explains 

 Phone Cards and Phone Calls - Navy For Moms (ning.com)

Also, if he did not take a phone card with him, he will be able to buy one with the NEX gift card all recruits are given (they will pull the funds from their 1st paycheck) when they get to BC or on their first stop at the NEX. 

When things settle down for you, be sure to read through the pages in the upper right (click view all), and also watch the videos which are posted in the upper left side. 

Hi everyone, I'm new here.  My son left for BC a little over a week ago, and I'm missing him every day and praying he is doing OK!  Thank you for all the great information on this site.

Hey Everyone... We have amouse in the House!!! Join me in welcoming her. 
I will post some info to your page a little later tonight!
Feel free to introduce your self and ask all the questions.  That's what we are here for!!

Q's Momma  - So happy for you!!! I hope to see you post in the Nuke Moms group or the Beyond BC group!!

Amouse - Welcome!! We have several moms on here whose SRs / Sailors will be headed to Goose Creek (GC) as well. 

This discussion might be of use to you - What PIR weekend may be like for those flying out of GL

welcome amouse... feel free to ask anything or vent as needed..

Chipmunk, I was just reading the Nuke schedule and trying to wrap my brain around all this when I saw your post.  Again, thank you for all the helpful information.  Nuke school is where he will be headed after PIR I believe.

Trey & belovedbyHim, thank you!

Amouse - You are welcome!!!

Melissa, your emotions are natural so don't think you need to apologize because you think you are more needy than anyone else. We are your support group and here for you no matter how you are dealing with this desperation. 

I myself thought I was completely loosing my mind and thought my husband was going to commit me for a emotional nervous breakdown. Standing at the edge of a big black hole unable to function because all I did was bawl my eyes out I found this group. Many seasoned Moms took me under their wings, told me their stories of struggle. belovefbyhim said " we haven't lost a Mom to BC yet and we aren't going to start with you"!  That has been almost 3 years ago and I am happy to say I not only made it through BC but Beyond. The struggles are real but with every step you experience the stronger you get. I was one of the Covid Mom's whom faced unbelievable circumstances, setbacks, no PIR, and no leave time for our Sailors to come home or A school graduations. Still I am standing here Proud and stronger than I ever thought possible. 

Take one step at a time, find a hobby, a exercise class or just go for a walk putting all that anxiety in a different direction, keeping your mind busy. Before you know it you will be getting that " Hi Mom, I'm a Sailor call" and you'll be heading to Great Lakes for that amazing hug as a Proud Navy Mom. Prayers for your aching heart.

Welcome Amouse!

Amouse Welcome!!! So glad to have you with us! My son arrived on July 11th - we have just 3 weeks left till PIR. This group had been great for info, support, validation and normalizing all my crazy thoughts. 

Melissa - praying for your and for some peace. You've had a lot thrown at you all at once. Hang in there. We are here for you. 

QsMomma - CONGRATS!! I bet PIR and your visit were just wonderful! Best of luck to your sailor at Nuke school! 

Q’s Momma - I am excited to hear that your son is headed to Nuke School!  My son is there now.  (Well, technically, he on leave NOW - woo hoo, but he'll be back at GC soon.)  I hope you'll join the Nuke Moms page.  It's not as active as this one, but Chipmunk and B'sNukeMom and Northwoodsmom are great at answering questions there, too!

My son finished A school in July and will start Power School this month, so we are just barely started in this journey.  :-)

Amouse - Welcome!  You have come to the right place.  These moms helped me so much when my son was in BC.  And it will be great to keep in touch when your Sailor is in Nuke school, also.

Melissa - Big hugs to you!  Praying that the Great Silence will pass quickly and you will hear from your SR soon!

You moms made my night by telling me that they can call a couple of times from BC. I was thinking that I wouldn't hear his voice for 10 weeks and that was killing me! Thank you!

@Northwoodsmom I do have a full time career and 2 other kids at home who play hockey so I'll stay busy for sure. I', just used to having my SR around ALL THE TIME so these initial days of silence is deafening. I can't wait to get a letter from him and I have so many people in my life who are eager to write to him so that will help a lot. 

You all are so helpful!

I got a quick call from my SR this morning.  They did really well on inspections and earned an extra one.  He doesn't believe that he is progressing on the run fast enough so he is struggling with that anxiety still.  However, what worries me is he still has not received his debit card from Navy Fed.  I thought I read that they got those pretty soon after account opening.  He has been there since 6/30.  He was going to talk to his RDC about it after the phone.  Would they have sent it home instead of giving it to him there, as he was ASMO'd?  Should I be watching for it?

JNMnavymom, I don't think the card they give them for personal needs at the NEX is their Federal Navy Debit Card, I think they are two separate things. Not sure when they get their debit card but I do remember my son's debit card account had a deduction for the Navy photo pictures he took and sent home. I hope this is what your referring to.

 JNMnavymomOH  My son has been there since 7/13, and he said he got his Navy Federal debit card right away when he opened the account. They personally gave it to him, it wasn't mailed.  

JNMnavymomOH Just to be clear, he did open his Navy Federal account there at RTC.

Northwoodsmom I think my son said he used up his NEX card already.  I'm not sure how he gets another one or if he just has to pay with his own card from this point on.  I know that I can send him money thru sandbox....or since I have his DoD# maybe thru the NEX itself?

SDNukeMom   yes he opened it during Pdays.  I'll get better clarification from him when I write, but I thought they got their debit cards right away.  He has been using his other debit card to pay for things, like a haircut and a new phone card.

Amouse & Melissa - howdy there! Glad you're here! You'll  find these moms MORE than helpful and caring. And it doesn't stop after BC! Hang out with us as long as you want, sit back and listen, offer your take and experience, cry your eyes out...whatever works for you. This is also YOUR BC, too, and we'll be there to give you and your future sailor BNMH when ya'll graduate!

Q's Momma - Awww! I'm so happy you got to be with your Sailor. Doesn't seem real,  does it? All your hard work raising him, all his hard work persevering, all the Navy's hard work shaping him have made him the young man he was meant to be.  BZ!

Q’s Momma -- The early morning arrival is not out of the norm.  The first bus usually arrives around midnight and they just keep making the rounds till they get them all moved.  I'm glad you had the time but yes the parting is rough!! I won't say it gets easier but you do get stronger!! We also do not say Good bye!! We instead say "See Ya Later"  We look forward to the next greeting and accept the temporary parting.

Melissa -- YEA!! I'm glad that the answers helped.  Yes the silence is deafening! No matter how prepared or not you think you are, Despite all the Love and Pride you have for your child... This sudden and complete disconnect is a total shock to the system!! College parents can call and leave a message with reasonable expectation they will hear back (Or just withhold a payment or money and you for sure will hear!!) They can go to where their kid is and see them if they want.  They have communications. 
We have.... ***Crickets Chirping in Cadence!***
It's HARD!!! No one here will tell you this is all easy.  Some adjust quicker but they are not usually the ones coming here.  They don't feel the need to seek a support community.  
The good news is they are being cared for!  Unlike college or after BC... For the next 10 weeks you know EXACTLY where they are and roughly what they are doing. You know they are not getting into car accidents or drinking or.... They are being fed, Sheltered (Mostly), Getting plenty of Exercise and fresh air (ish)... They have a medical team checking them over and the level of supervision is almost as good as they would have had at home! Take comfort in that.  No News is Good News but that doesn't mean that there will never be any news!! Plan for 3 phone calls (I'm here, I'm Still Alive, I'm a Sailor) Hope for 4 (I've passed my PFA) and rejoice if you get 5!!(Hi... We earned a bonus call!) There can be reasons they don't get to make a call that do not mean you need to worry, they could have Duty/watch or are taking care of business, but those are the most common calls they make. (Most of them come in the last half of BC)

JNMnavymomOH-- They usually give them to them on the spot (They have machines at the branch they can do them on the spot!) Hopefully his RDC can walk him over this week to get that straight.  I hope his anxiety doesn't cause him to have added issues. I would not send money via any other method.  (Having his DOD number won't help.)  Keep your eyes open but there shouldn't be much he needs to buy so I'm unsure how he spent all his card.  They usually don't have much extra that isn't covered in BC.  Sadly you cannot send NEX gift cards.  There is no way for civilians to buy them even to gift to sailors! (Annoying!!)