Boot Camp Moms (and loved ones)

Amouse - You are welcome!!!

Melissa, your emotions are natural so don't think you need to apologize because you think you are more needy than anyone else. We are your support group and here for you no matter how you are dealing with this desperation. 

I myself thought I was completely loosing my mind and thought my husband was going to commit me for a emotional nervous breakdown. Standing at the edge of a big black hole unable to function because all I did was bawl my eyes out I found this group. Many seasoned Moms took me under their wings, told me their stories of struggle. belovefbyhim said " we haven't lost a Mom to BC yet and we aren't going to start with you"!  That has been almost 3 years ago and I am happy to say I not only made it through BC but Beyond. The struggles are real but with every step you experience the stronger you get. I was one of the Covid Mom's whom faced unbelievable circumstances, setbacks, no PIR, and no leave time for our Sailors to come home or A school graduations. Still I am standing here Proud and stronger than I ever thought possible. 

Take one step at a time, find a hobby, a exercise class or just go for a walk putting all that anxiety in a different direction, keeping your mind busy. Before you know it you will be getting that " Hi Mom, I'm a Sailor call" and you'll be heading to Great Lakes for that amazing hug as a Proud Navy Mom. Prayers for your aching heart.

Welcome Amouse!

Amouse Welcome!!! So glad to have you with us! My son arrived on July 11th - we have just 3 weeks left till PIR. This group had been great for info, support, validation and normalizing all my crazy thoughts. 

Melissa - praying for your and for some peace. You've had a lot thrown at you all at once. Hang in there. We are here for you. 

QsMomma - CONGRATS!! I bet PIR and your visit were just wonderful! Best of luck to your sailor at Nuke school! 

Q’s Momma - I am excited to hear that your son is headed to Nuke School!  My son is there now.  (Well, technically, he on leave NOW - woo hoo, but he'll be back at GC soon.)  I hope you'll join the Nuke Moms page.  It's not as active as this one, but Chipmunk and B'sNukeMom and Northwoodsmom are great at answering questions there, too!

My son finished A school in July and will start Power School this month, so we are just barely started in this journey.  :-)

Amouse - Welcome!  You have come to the right place.  These moms helped me so much when my son was in BC.  And it will be great to keep in touch when your Sailor is in Nuke school, also.

Melissa - Big hugs to you!  Praying that the Great Silence will pass quickly and you will hear from your SR soon!

You moms made my night by telling me that they can call a couple of times from BC. I was thinking that I wouldn't hear his voice for 10 weeks and that was killing me! Thank you!

@Northwoodsmom I do have a full time career and 2 other kids at home who play hockey so I'll stay busy for sure. I', just used to having my SR around ALL THE TIME so these initial days of silence is deafening. I can't wait to get a letter from him and I have so many people in my life who are eager to write to him so that will help a lot. 

You all are so helpful!

I got a quick call from my SR this morning.  They did really well on inspections and earned an extra one.  He doesn't believe that he is progressing on the run fast enough so he is struggling with that anxiety still.  However, what worries me is he still has not received his debit card from Navy Fed.  I thought I read that they got those pretty soon after account opening.  He has been there since 6/30.  He was going to talk to his RDC about it after the phone.  Would they have sent it home instead of giving it to him there, as he was ASMO'd?  Should I be watching for it?

JNMnavymom, I don't think the card they give them for personal needs at the NEX is their Federal Navy Debit Card, I think they are two separate things. Not sure when they get their debit card but I do remember my son's debit card account had a deduction for the Navy photo pictures he took and sent home. I hope this is what your referring to.

 JNMnavymomOH  My son has been there since 7/13, and he said he got his Navy Federal debit card right away when he opened the account. They personally gave it to him, it wasn't mailed.  

JNMnavymomOH Just to be clear, he did open his Navy Federal account there at RTC.

Northwoodsmom I think my son said he used up his NEX card already.  I'm not sure how he gets another one or if he just has to pay with his own card from this point on.  I know that I can send him money thru sandbox....or since I have his DoD# maybe thru the NEX itself?

SDNukeMom   yes he opened it during Pdays.  I'll get better clarification from him when I write, but I thought they got their debit cards right away.  He has been using his other debit card to pay for things, like a haircut and a new phone card.

Amouse & Melissa - howdy there! Glad you're here! You'll  find these moms MORE than helpful and caring. And it doesn't stop after BC! Hang out with us as long as you want, sit back and listen, offer your take and experience, cry your eyes out...whatever works for you. This is also YOUR BC, too, and we'll be there to give you and your future sailor BNMH when ya'll graduate!

Q's Momma - Awww! I'm so happy you got to be with your Sailor. Doesn't seem real,  does it? All your hard work raising him, all his hard work persevering, all the Navy's hard work shaping him have made him the young man he was meant to be.  BZ!

Q’s Momma -- The early morning arrival is not out of the norm.  The first bus usually arrives around midnight and they just keep making the rounds till they get them all moved.  I'm glad you had the time but yes the parting is rough!! I won't say it gets easier but you do get stronger!! We also do not say Good bye!! We instead say "See Ya Later"  We look forward to the next greeting and accept the temporary parting.

Melissa -- YEA!! I'm glad that the answers helped.  Yes the silence is deafening! No matter how prepared or not you think you are, Despite all the Love and Pride you have for your child... This sudden and complete disconnect is a total shock to the system!! College parents can call and leave a message with reasonable expectation they will hear back (Or just withhold a payment or money and you for sure will hear!!) They can go to where their kid is and see them if they want.  They have communications. 
We have.... ***Crickets Chirping in Cadence!***
It's HARD!!! No one here will tell you this is all easy.  Some adjust quicker but they are not usually the ones coming here.  They don't feel the need to seek a support community.  
The good news is they are being cared for!  Unlike college or after BC... For the next 10 weeks you know EXACTLY where they are and roughly what they are doing. You know they are not getting into car accidents or drinking or.... They are being fed, Sheltered (Mostly), Getting plenty of Exercise and fresh air (ish)... They have a medical team checking them over and the level of supervision is almost as good as they would have had at home! Take comfort in that.  No News is Good News but that doesn't mean that there will never be any news!! Plan for 3 phone calls (I'm here, I'm Still Alive, I'm a Sailor) Hope for 4 (I've passed my PFA) and rejoice if you get 5!!(Hi... We earned a bonus call!) There can be reasons they don't get to make a call that do not mean you need to worry, they could have Duty/watch or are taking care of business, but those are the most common calls they make. (Most of them come in the last half of BC)

JNMnavymomOH-- They usually give them to them on the spot (They have machines at the branch they can do them on the spot!) Hopefully his RDC can walk him over this week to get that straight.  I hope his anxiety doesn't cause him to have added issues. I would not send money via any other method.  (Having his DOD number won't help.)  Keep your eyes open but there shouldn't be much he needs to buy so I'm unsure how he spent all his card.  They usually don't have much extra that isn't covered in BC.  Sadly you cannot send NEX gift cards.  There is no way for civilians to buy them even to gift to sailors! (Annoying!!)

Welcome Sarie  -- I left some information on your page.  This is your place to come and share, ask, cry, vent, rejoice and learn!  please introduce yourself and let us know a bit about where you are on this journey.

Hi Moms! I got a great surprise yesterday when I got a text from Sandboxx with my SR's address! I sent him a Sandboxx letter already! That came way before I expected it, is that normal? I thought we had to wait the 3 weeks until they send the form letter...

Hi, Melissa!  When my son was there (Sept - Nov 2021), I didn't get the notification that my son wanted to connect on Sandboxx until like Week 5 (and we had already been communicating since Week 3).  That's amazing that you got notification so quickly.  (I will say that the info that Sandboxx sent was accurate - it just came too late.)

It's a little surprising that they would know his division number since he just arrived on Friday.  But if I were in your shoes, I would have sent a letter immediately, too!  :-)

Regarding Sandboxx, I listened to the advice from the women on this page and kept in mind that other eyes were reading my letters, so I was careful about what I said to him.  But Sandboxx was great because I could use it to respond quickly to his letters.  For example, in one of his letters, he said, "I am sorry I don't write much.  I only have time on Sundays to write." I immediately sent a Sandboxx letter to reassure him that even though I was writing him every day via USPS, I was not expecting him to write often.  I used Sandboxx when I needed to tell him something quickly, and used USPS for everything else.

@belovedbyHim  and @MomofJoseph so, should I not trust the link with the address that I received? I put a little piece of paper in his wallet with our phone numbers and addresses and we all got the text with the link to his address. Is it legit??

Thank you for the BZs and recommendations for hotels. I booked the Springhill Suites, but am considering a Friday night at the Hilton in O'Hare so we are right there to see him off (He's going to San Antonio). I don't think I will know his day/time of departure until graduation so it's a money gamble (the hotel is expensive!)- sounds like it was worth it though Q's Momma!  I plan on bringing him some underwear haha! I'm sure he'll appreciate getting out of the BC ones.

Melissa in my son's case, the address I got from Sandboxx was correct but it's best to wait until his form letter comes, and then you will know for sure what his address is. 
The letter would sit for a while anyway while the new post office recruit (Sorry I don't know the correct term) learns the job. I wrote letters and just held on to them until I got his address and mailed them. 

For the new moms here, this is a wonderful group. I don't post often, but I read all of the posts that come through my email. 
We've all run the gamut of emotions. Some days are good, others not so good where we miss our babies. Mine was "so ready" and then there was a hidden message in the envelope of his form letter saying he was coming home. They will struggle but grow into amazing Sailors. Mine went from asking to come home to being the Recruit Commander for the PIR that just happened, this upcoming PIR, and then his own on 9/16. Even if he didn't have this amazing leadership position, I would still be so proud of him. 

Even if you aren't religious, I recommend the Serenity Prayer. I was attending al-anon when I finally understood what it meant and it 100% changed my life for the better. 

BNMH to everyone here! I appreciate all of you!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend. I will have to catch up later, as I have been spending a lot of family time. 

Welcome Sarie and Amouse!

Q’sMomma- so happy for you and your Sailor!! Enjoy every minute! Hope you get some time at the airport too! Please reply how that goes cause I’ll be in your position hopefully in a few weeks as my SR will be flying out the next day too…want details :)

Melissa- Hang in there! We all need this group! I will tell you that I felt the Great Wall of silence was the hardest thing for me so far. It was such a relief when I got his first letter and first real phone call. Take it day by day hour by hour if needed. My daughter and I made a paper chain and now it’s so short!! But that really helped me to physically take off a link every day and I also had the first day of BC and PIR on there as well. I knew I might have to add links if he got sick or injured or something but I tell you I look at that link every day several times and it just somehow helps me stay connected to him. Also my Sandboxx address was correct but I only sent one letter until the address was confirmed. I use it a lot (because he asked) but I am very careful what I say in it. I told him I won’t be using it after BC due to safety. 

JNAVYMOMS- I hope you get the debit card situation straightened out. Hang on there. My friends Sailor was there since March and just graduated so if he sticks it out I’m sure he will pass- not saying it would take that long though!  
BelovedbyHim- I did get a NEX card through Sandboxx and he got it? 

CB Mom-- That's great that you were able to get a NEX card through Sandboxx.  I DO not believe it would be wise to use it after however.

Only use Sandboxx in BC. Keep in mind the letters are visible to anyone who works at Sandboxx so treat it just like a post card. Nothing personal, Nothing that should not be shared, nothing you wouldn’t stand in a public square and shout. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL SAILORS... DO NOT Use Sandboxx when your Sailor is out in the Fleet!! Long Story short... My Son was on Deployment (Seabee so they travel by Plane not ship but same thing can happen with a ship!!!) They were in Route Home. Someone's Girlfriend sent a Sandboxx Booty call with dates and times. One group ended up landing at a base (The one with that sailor, not mine) and they got to spend 3 days and 4 nights eating from a vending machine and sleeping on the ground. My Sailor was held at their deployment location for 2 weeks additional. All their gear had already been shipped separately so they had none of it... Just the clothes on their back and whatever “Comfort Items” they were hand carrying home. We had plans to come to see him for Homecoming! The First (and so far only)  one we would have been able to be there for. He was able to call us the day we were leaving so we were able to modify our plans but we were not able to extend our stay to be there when he got in. They arrived in the middle of the night to no fan fare, No waiting family, No Homecoming. Just landed, Bused to base and dismissed to find their own way home (Calling loved ones to come get them or hanging out till the “Rot lot” opened later in the morning). I am NOT a fan of Sandboxx!!! I will NEVER Condemn you for using it in BC!! It does get letters to them quicker than Snail Mail but After BC, Close Your account and Forget it exists!!! If they are off grid, there is a reason!!!IF they need money use Venmo or Paypal or....!!! IF it’s an emergency then use the Red Cross!! There is NO reason to use Sandboxx after BC EVER!!!

BelovedbyHim- No, definitely a big NO to Sandboxx after boot camp!!!

Hi everyone, does anyone know if vaccinations are required for any other graduations besides from BC?  I am not vaccinated, but am thinking about it so that I can attend PIR.  However, it would be helpful to know if I would miss A school graduation or anything else if I decided not to.

Liz - I am so sorry about the conflicting info on the letters. I have been spending some much-needed time with my other children who do not live close by, and I have not been able to be on the site much.  I knew nothing about the Sandboxx App when my son went to BC. As well, I knew nothing about this website either (I did not find it until the week before PIR.) All the information that I had about BC came from what the recruiter told me, as well as what I found on the RTC Bootcamp website , and so, I had no expectations or things to compare with others. 

I knew that my son would not get my letters until I received his form letter, and he knew it as well. One thing to keep in mind, is that your daughter will be pretty much in the same situation as all of the other SRs in her division. And if your Sandboxx letter does get to her sooner than her postal mail one does, she will have that - but I do agree with BelovedbyHim, I would not spend extra money to mail a Sandboxx app letter, until you at least have her Form Letter with her mailing address. 

Please forgive me if I come across curt, I am trying to reply to comments on my computer, while not in the best of locations and it is also not easy for me to reread and adjust the tone of my comments. 

For those with Sailors flying out after PIR - be sure to read my discussion - What PIR weekend may be like for those flying out of GL if you have been to PIR recently and have any updated information, be sure to post a reply at the end of that discussion. I have always been conscientious about not posting specific times even, but my sailor had one of the earliest buses out of RTC after midnight. We ended up checking out very early from our motel and left it the same time they were leaving RTC to meet him at O'Hare. We spent more time with him at the airport than we had on PIR. Read my discussion for details. We left the airport after his 0600 flight out and started driving home. If you are flying, you have less flexibility, so staying at the hotel airport might be beneficial. However, not all sailors fly out from O'Hare, and they will not know until they have their orders. They may end up staying in GL in THU (temporary holding unit) and not fly out that weekend. Lots of variables. 

Be sure to get their flight information from them. They are the only ones that can tell you that!

You may join -  Beyond BC  IF: your SR has passed BS21 or has completed PIR. This is a follow after group for those who are moving on, but one central group to keep you all connected, even if you join other groups on this site for your A schools, ships, or duty stations. It is the home of the Navy Mom Posse!! Who are called on to help when any Navy Mom is in need.

Remember: if you have a new sailor, be sure to change their status on your profile page to enlisted!

There are also printable coloring sheets here if anyone is interested. Free Serenity Prayer Printables - Bible Study Printables

Amouse - Whether or not you have to be vaccinated to see your sailor at his A school, is most likely going to depend on whether or not you are going to be going on Base with him, and what regulations the A school might have. All I can share is what I know for my sailor, whose ship recently had a "family day" Tiger Cruise this summer. Those who attended had to be able to show proof of vaccination. We were not able to attend the Tiger Cruise but a little later we were able to board the ship while it was in dock, and we did not show our vaccination cards, but we had them with us if we needed them. 

So, while I do not push one way or the other on the vaccine, it is still likely to be expected, if you want to do something "special" with your sailor when they assigned to their duty station. As for at A school or other graduations, that is likely also. To just go see them, if they are given liberty and can come see you, they may not have to verify that you have been vaccinated. (During the shutdown, it was a lot stricter. Not sure what it is for the various locations now.) 

JNMnavymomOH - Even if your son got an account set up at the NFCU that is located there on RTC, he may not have had any money in his account to feel like he could use his debit card from their yet, and that is why he was using his other bank account. 

When Will Recruits Be Paid

The above information page was very helpful to me when I was trying to determine when my son's paycheck was first going into his NFCU account which we set up at our local branch before he left for BC. He may have wanted to wait for using his NEX gift card for things that he needed to purchase at the NEX, and he might have used it to purchase a watch, which took up a majority of his money. 

Hi Liz!  I am sorry that the conflicting info about letters has sent you back to square one.  I want to reassure you that this Great Silence will end soon.  When my son went to BC, I had my massive meltdown on Day 9. (I was counting days since he left home, since I didn't have a PIR date yet.)  It wasn't much longer after that, that I got the form letter.  Then a week later, I got his first letter.  

They are so crazy busy during the first 2-3 weeks, I think they barely have time to be homesick.  They know no letters will be coming because they know parents don't have addresses.  When they mail the form letters, they know it will take a few days for them to arrive at home and they know it will take a few days to get a response back.

I listened to the advice here and wrote my son often.  When I saw on the USPS Informed Delivery app that I was getting a letter from my son, I addressed all the letters that I had written and they were in the mailbox when the postman delivered the form letter.  (Thankfully, the app showed very clearly the return address so I could put it on there even before his letter arrived.)

Hang in there, Liz.  <3  You will hear from her soon and she will get your letters soon.  BNMH!  

I don't know if I had a chance the other day to welcome Lori (who hails from the west coast) to our group or not. This is the best location on this site to post your hellos, ask your questions, share your concerns, frustrations, ups and downs. 

ok... so I have sent 2 Sandboxx letters and I won't send any more until I get the form letter. Is that what you moms suggest? Now, I am typing a regular letter a day and will wait to send them all until I get the form letter. It's so hard to guess at these kinds of things since we can't confirm anything with our SR yet. Augh! 

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

Melissa I would hold off until that form letter comes and then dump all the letters in the mail! My form letter came 9 business days after he left. It's usually 9-14 days after they arrive. YMMV of course. USPS informed delivery is the best too! Make sure you all are signed up for it! Mine comes at 0715 every morning and I open that email so fast to see if a letter is getting delivered.

BNMH Liz

Well, I'm all packed and leaving in the morning!  My Mom and I will be driving 16 hours from FL to attend PIR on 9/9.  I feel like I am forgetting something.  Probably won't sleep tonight out of pure excitement!

safe travels... take pictures of your house to let you remind yourself the stove is off lol... I do this now and feel better

How exciting Amy! Safe travels! Enjoy your time with your sailor! Shameless plug for mine...he's the recruit commander-give him a cheer from me when they announce him (from Mass).

My Sailor is in a Triple Threat 900 division.  I watched two of the past weeks graduations hoping beyond hope to catch a glimpse of her to no avail.  She had told us she would be in the balcony assisting guests so I knew it was a really long shot.  Well, a fellow Navy Mom was at last weeks graduation, she got there really early and walked around taking pictures of recruits (with their permission of course).  She posted them all online and I was able to see a picture of my daughter!  So, the moral of the story is that Navy Moms look out for other Navy Moms.  So thankful to be a part of such a loving community.

Have FUN Amy!!!! And hope you catch NurseKins Sailor as well!

Safe travels Amy. My sailor is just past 2 years in and I too am leaving from FL tomorrow in the a.m., but to drive up to visit him in Norfolk. It's only 12 hours for me. Maybe we'll pass each other on the highways. 

So I shared the Sandboxx story not to say don't use it in BC but don't over buy either.  It wasn't a thing when my bee went in but this was my first hand experience!  The Bees move different and ships are harder to hide and many of their comings and goings are well announced but still... Don't put your sailor in that position!

I'm sorry if you feel there has been conflicting messages on the Letters Liz.  There is only 1 message and that is before you get the form letter, we suggest waiting to mail letters.  The only way to know 100% they are getting your letters is to ask them and of course you can't call to verify that.  The info I shared is correct.  They have to train a Recruit Mail Petty Officer (RMPO) who will deliver the mail.  Any address received prior to the Form letter, May or May Not be correct!  Trust only a Phone call or the form letter.  Sandboxx is delivered via FedEx not USPS therefore the special training they have to deliver USPS mail does not apply to FedEx and that is why it is not forwarded (It's marked return to sender instead, which is sandboxx.  They may try and forward if they can find the new address or you may get a message back that it was undeliverable.)  All Mail before they have trained the RMPO is set aside to be sorted later. Sometimes that mail is not sorted till they have been there a while and some letters just never arrive. ONCE the RMPO is trained they get mail delivered Mon-Sat (Although someone it seems said that they were no longer getting Sat Deliveries) Just like you do at home.  They also do not get it on Federal Holidays (Like Today).

I Don't remember where in this journey you are, but that is the best advice we can offer.  You can and should write often, even during the great silence but we advise waiting till you get the form letter to mail them.  That is what I was advising Melissa.  Her SR just arrived last Friday so there is no way to have a RMPO trained (They have not even completed P-days anf the initial PFA!!)  and I don't want her to mail a bunch of letters that may or may not get delivered, and for sure are not delivered this early! 

Melissa -- Yes, Please wait!! I KNOW it's hard!!! Believe me!! But it's just far to soon.  Sandboxx is happy to take your money but you don't know what the source of their info is anymore than we do.  They are in this to make a profit and given the experience I have had with them I'm a little suspect of their motives.  I know it is supposed to be a Vet who started the company but still.  You have sent the 2 letters... Know that if the information is correct he'll be among the first to get them but if it's wrong, you won't know and may have used up all your credits on letters that will never get delivered.  It's hard but they are all in the same place, waiting to hear!! Your SR will not be alone!!

Amy -- Just remember to keep breathing!!! They have Walmart for anything else you may have forgotten!! Have a wonderful time and enjoy every second with your Sailor!!! Travel Blessings to you as you travel!!

Amy-- We do try!!

Just to add to the discussion on sandboxx and BC.  A recent change has occurred at RTC that folks should know about. If an SR signs up for Sandboxx there will be NO form letter mailed home. Here's a copy/paste with that info: 

This is BS21 week for my SR!  Funny (or not - maybe just crazy) - I dreamt last night that somehow I was on base at RTC and could peak in the window that showed recruits switching their recruit hats to navy hats... I kept sneaking around so I could watch and not get caught. Can you tell where my brain is at this week!?!? LOL 

Hi, Amouse!  I can only speak for Nuke School, but I wanted to share our experience with Graduation.  At NNPTC, we have been to visit often since we are only a few hours away, but generally we are not allowed on base.  We pick him up outside of base and it's never been questioned if we are vaccinated.

For A school graduation, we were allowed on base and we had to show our vaccination cards.  My son said that if we weren't vaccinated, we would have had to show a negative Covid test.  (This is, of course, subject to change, but it was our experience in July 2022.)

For clarification, we are NEVER allowed on base at NNPTC except for graduation.  (I re-read my email and I didn't think that part was clear.  Sorry!)

Tammy - Your dream cracked me up.  That is so funny!  Good luck to your future Sailor this week!  Woo hoo!