Child acting out!!!! Help

[skell456 (AO wife)]

Hello everyone.  My husband left about 5 days ago for boot camp.  As crazy as it sounds my 3 year old son is not taking it well at all.  He has been acting out and being very bad.  He normally is one of the best 3 year olds I have ever met.  I do not know what to do with him.  He is also whining a lot more lately.  I understand him missing his dad, but I didn't expect this.  Any advice?????

[judy r]

dil had this [problem first time my son deployed she found the best thing was to keep to the normal routine have dad's pics around the house and all rules stay the same no matter what.  hoope this will help you

[Angie]

Daddy dolls is another good thing. It is a doll with dad's picture on it

[Carolyn]

Awww, my heart goes out to him. I'd suggest letting him talk about his Dad freely. He probably will have a million questions as the weeks go by. I'd also make sure he spends time letting loose in a physical way. Perhaps daily visits to the park? Maybe let him join a sports team so he'll have an outlet for his physical aggression. Make sure he does not get away with bad behavior. Discipline him the same way you would as if his father was home. Reinforce good behavior with lots of hugs and kisses. Expect the unexpected. Neither of you have had this experience before and it's best to kind of go with the flow. Be good to yourself. Save up lots of patience and give yourself a break when it gets to be too much. Good Luck Mom!

[SonandSea]

Kids are very intuitive. He probably is picking up on your emotions even if you are keeping them under wraps. I would agree with all that has been said here and would encourage you to be sure to take care of yourself. This is a trying time, but try to stay positive. And yes, go to the park and both of you swing and laugh and stop for some ice cream on the way home. Treasure even these difficult days because they are moving your family toward a bright future! ♥

[Arwen]

Three years old is old enough to watch a video about boot camp. There are several here on this site, including Navy Racks, which is great for short attentions spans. If he understands where daddy is and what he is doing, it may help him deal with your husband's absence better. Right now he's simply gone and can't imagine where he is at. Having a mental image of what's happening could help a lot.

 

I also recommend a Build-A-Bear with a sailor outfit, or a My Twinn doll that looks like your husband. You can send your husband a recordable message "button" to go in the bear, which your son can listen to, and use the bear as a huggable stand-in for his daddy.

[Audrey Storch]

I can so relate and have some great ideas that really worked for my son and so many others. When mine sons were 4 and 7 I got Breast Cancer and the 4 yr.old really started acting out. I could not be there for him when I had surgeries, chemo, and radiation on top of other things. Besides taking him to a psychologist that was great with working with younger children with these issues I gave my son a picture of me to hold everytime I could not be there. It really worked. So then I invented a soft cuddly "huggable picture frame" doll so the picture would not get ruined and he could really hug me! Make a long story short we have been blessed to help hundreds of thousands of children of deployed parents and tens of thousands for all other reasons ie: camp, preschool, divorce, daycare, death, illness, or just not being with Mom, Dad, Grandma/Grandpa etc. Adults too (i use mine all the time). There is a fantastic non profit organization called OPERATION GIVE A HUG (just put .org at end of their name for website) that donates the 100% safe, no chemicals, machine washable huggable picture frame with a great booklet of resources for you. You can also go to www.huggeemissyou.com to see all the others and the recordables come with batteries, are changeable and you can lock in your message and it is safe even if you need to change the batteries!! Can record over the phone and computor too if they are already deployed. Pricing is below $16.00!!! There is more and feel free to contact me for more tips. Good luck and thank you again for serving our country.

[Anna]

visit militaryonesource.com for information helping a child cope with seraration. This is something many families struggle with and something you and your son will likely face time and time again. There are many resources out there for families and militaryonesource may help you locate some. good luck!