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Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on August 4, 2012 at 10:19pm

Hello lemonelephant!

Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on August 4, 2012 at 10:03pm

Angie...that's naughty! LOL Well, he might thank you for having "buff-er"  arms!

I agree with you though...there will be something...mine got 8-counts for calling his Chief "Petty Officer"...twice.

ModestoAngel...your daughter sounds like she has a great attitude as far as critiscm and jokes being made...she'll need it in the military!

Oh...the stories over the years! Sometimes I got "dragged" into the shenanigans...even though I was a wife and not the servicemember! But dang it's fun! Even while he was deployed hubby "included" me as he has always done and I was able to send his buds packages that were personalized for them.

So, while some might think it's hard to not be able to send them packages in BC...don't worry...you'll send plenty when they go to "A" school and elsewhere. They have tight quarters but they always need the boost! Sailor son needed some civvies, DS, and then I sent goodies as well!

Hubby was in Iraq...I think I sent at least two (or more..."Honey, I broke my reading glasses...pelase send some of those cheap ones ASAP!") a month. Ugh...hate filling out customs forms! 

Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on August 4, 2012 at 9:54pm

ModestoAngel - Thank you for asking me to clarify my point.

Yes, you are allowed to post first names of your Recruit/Sailor...it does not go against the N4M's Community Guidelines (clickable link).

My apologies if it was confusing. Here is the part that MA is referring too:

*I respectfully beg to differ about the confidentiality of your recruits address. It is confidential as you make it. Only 1 form letter goes out to 1 person and RTC does not give out the addresses of individual recruits. Even if you post their ship/ division on this site...as long as you don't post their first name, their pictures publicly or your name, who is to know who they are? The posting of last names of recruits/sailors are never allowed on this site.*

I was speaking about your recruits address being confidential.

As far a on here the posting of ship/divisions is fine...if you want to show your recruits picture it's fine....their first name, it's fine. But should you...it's up to you.

Personally...I did not. I did not want to take a chance that I would have a "slip of the tongue" while posting about a letter from him or phone call...and then him being matched up with me and then having it get back to him. By another mom writing to her recruit...by personnel...by anyone. I never posted anything negative that he might have said about his fellow recruits or his RDC's (He never did by the way...again, just an example). Even if he had...it would have been spoken in confidence to me by my son...it should go no further. Members come to me in private with concerns and I welcome them...and promise not to speak about it publicly...not allowed to anyways.

I don't post pictures now or use first names now because of what I do on here...and prefer my privacy and privacy for my family as far the internet...it's one reason I am not on FB, or any other forum (well some of that is time...I spend a lot on this one!)...don't want to use my real name.

It's just something I am very "used too" as far as confidentiality. My husband is in Law enforcement and the military...so I have a "double whammy"! Now, my sons are/and (God willing) will be in the military.

OPSEC is very important in the military and expected.

Does it mean you can't share and feel supported? No. It does mean that now is as good as any time to start learning about what to say and not say.

Comment by lemonelephant on August 4, 2012 at 9:37pm

As for cookies or candy, some RDC's eat them, some throw them away, some distribute them to everyone in the division except the recruit who received them while that recruit watches and/or does some sort of IT, some have the recruit eat every cookie or piece of candy while also doing some sort of IT, and some keep them until after PIR and may or may not give them to the Sailor then. It all depends on the RDC and the division.

Comment by lemonelephant on August 4, 2012 at 9:29pm

ModestoAngel, to answer your questions:
1.  Yes, it is fine to refer to your daughter by her first name, but never use her last name or yours, especially if it is the same as your recruit's.  Some of us do not ever use our Sailor's first name to increase privacy, but that is a personal preference, not a requiement on the site.
2. Angie answered that.  If the recruit and/or division needs additional training to be ready for the PFA, then the RDC will find something to IT them for.  What may be perfectly fine for one division may not be allowed in another division.  Refer to page 1 in the Family Guide at http://bootcamp.navy.mil/pdfs/FamilyGuide.pdf for more information from the RTC on mail.

Comment by ModestoAngel (IT/ATF Pensacola) on August 4, 2012 at 8:52pm

After reading FTLW's post... I have thought up a couple of questions. No matter how silly they may sound.. I will never know the answer unless I ask...

1, First of all, I'm kind of confused. Are we allowed to put a first name to pictures we post on here? So far I have only referred to her as my daughter in pictures, but when writing general posts I've at times called her by her first name only. Same as with posting her ship/division. Even though I may have not directly put her first name in that post, I have made mention to her by name in other posts. Never her last name (I learned that the hard way, lol) Needless to say I'm a little confused on this. I don't want to post something I shouldn't. I understand the need for confidentiality,

2. My other question is, will recruits get in trouble for stickers on outside of envelope or packages received? I'm asking this because my daughters boyfriend is quite the comical creature. Not to mention he is in the army. His idea of a joke, he wants to put army stickers all over outside of envelope. And going through boot camp himself he knows what happens to recruits who receive things such as this. He also plans to send candy to her. HE says: they will make them work for them and then you have to share with everyone in division. My DAUGHTER says: all cookies and candies go straight to the chief because they are not allowed. I tend to take her word for it because she is the one going through Navy boot camp and her boyfriend went through Army training. As for the stickers, my daughter doesn't embarrass easily. She is great at taking criticism or someone making jokes at her. I just dont want her to get into trouble.

Things I do know from a phone conversation with my daughter on Friday: If post cards are sent, they WILL be read to the entire division before being delivered to recruit. She said don't send packages, at least her division won't even see them.

Advice for sending them comments from facebook... When I am writing my daughter letters, I daily check her facebook and personally write the comments exactly as posted on facebook and tell her by first name only who they are from. She knows who they are. This way... I'm just sending her a regular letter, nothing printed. That way she might be able to stay out of trouble. Another thing I have done, is I made a facebook page for my daughter while being in boot camp. I added only close friends and family. When I hear from her or anything about her, I update that page. To me it makes it so much easier to post once instead of answering the same question over and over again. As for her address, I let people know who ever wanted address to let me know and I'd send it in a private message. Even tho my daughter loves every one of her closest friends, there are a couple that she prefers not to have her address. Biggest reason being that for example, one girl she used to hang around with has a tough girl attitude. Gets into a lot of trouble. My daughter got into some minor school trouble while hanging around this girl. Nothing major or legally wrong, but enough for her NC1 to tell her if she wants to be in the navy, she needs to drop the friend. Needless to say, my daughter knew that the Navy will be there for her in the future but her friend might not be. Anyway, this friend of hers, my daughter is afraid that if her friend writes, she may say something that might get her into trouble. So does not want her to have address. I've told everyone that writes to her, do not put anything in the letter that may cause her to get upset. She needs to stay focused. But that is me being a protective mom and is not the one of the only ways I can still have a little say in her life. LOL

That is my 2 cents. Like FTLW said... my info comes from my recruit and may not be same for other recruits.

Comment by IndyMom on August 4, 2012 at 7:08pm

 sharbear36 and other newbies:  One thing you will quickly learn on this site is that when it comes to RDC's it is best to err on the side of caution.  Some can be very flexible and others are totally unreasonable.  So..what to do.  I sent my son a musical card and then I read how others had received them and the RDC used it to ridicule them.  My son later told me that luckily is RDC was around when he opened it becasue he would have given him a hard time.  You just never know what is going to be allowed.  But, the general concenus is to stay under the radar as much as possible.  I took the advice of others and put pictures and news reports on the back of computer paper and wrote on the front and those seemed to get through. Also, the less bulky the better.  Bottom line is we want to support them without giving the RDC's any ammunition to use against them.

Comment by aster on August 4, 2012 at 4:01pm

My sailor was in an 800 division, they were not allowed news clippings and not allowed articles that were cut and pasted into the letter, I had done the cut and pasting and his RDC made him throw away several of my letters with sports articles on his favorite basketball team, of course I found this out after about 7 letters, due to the way the mail is distributed. NO KISS MARKS either on the envelopes, one SR had to do push ups and after each push up kiss the envelope!  Please respect your SR instructions!  :D

Each RDC is different and you don't know until your SR informs you.

Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on August 4, 2012 at 3:22pm

If a recruit writes home and says something is not allowed... then honor it. You just may not know until it happens. However, if they don't, then it is either not a problem or the recruit doesn't mind. It is up to the RDC's and each RDC is different.

This is from the Family Guide put out by RTC.
CONTACTING YOUR RECRUIT
Because of the structured nature of training, your Recruit will not be able to contact you regularly. We understand how difficult this will be at first, so here are a few things that might help ease the anxiety of being out of contact:
Mail:
 Recruits will mail home a letter with their address during the first week of training. The Privacy Act prevents RTC from releasing Recruit addresses. Only your Recruit can provide you with that address.
 Once a Recruit arrives onboard their ship (barracks), they will begin receiving their mail, around week 2-3. To help avoid delays, please wait until you receive your recruit’s official address via mail.
 While you can write to your Recruit every day, your recruit can only write to you a few evenings each week and during “holiday routine,” meaning Sundays and federal holidays.
 Recruits can receive anything that can fit into a standard-sized envelope and news from home might help ease some of their homesickness as well.
 Resist the urge to send a care package or write on the outside of the envelope. We know you want to send your Recruit their favorite homemade chocolate chip cookies, but Recruits cannot receive these. Also, remember that the envelope will be seen by their RDC, so putting stickers or writing all over their envelopes might make your recruit uncomfortable.

That's it...no details about news articles, printing off stuff etc. You won't know until your recruit says otherwise. I sent my son black and white cartoons printed on the back of my letters...and sometimes a word search...no issues. I have also seen others do this and the recruit wrote home and said not too. Same with news articles etc...reports that they get thrown out. Some don't.
I respectfully beg to differ about the confidentiality of your recruits address. It is confidential as you make it. Only 1 form letter goes out to 1 person and RTC does not give out the addresses of individual recruits. Even if you post their ship/ division on this site...as long as you don't post their first name, their pictures publicly or your name, who is to know who they are? The posting of last names of recruits/sailors are never allowed on this site.
It may not be against the rules to post a sailor's address publicly on a public forum...so that is between the recruit and his/her loved ones as to wether they do that or not...but my personal preference is not to do so. But my family has a law enforcement and a military background.
Bottom line follow your recruits lead.
As far as packages, near the end of BC a recruit may ask for contact lenses with solution ( travel size ) and /or make up for the females. only send them if they ask ...if they have not then do not . Usually, when they request those items to be sent they have gotten permission from there RDC. If they haven't....
All bulky mail and/or packages will be opened in front of an RDC to be inspected for content.
Sorry this took so long ...working from phone. :oD

Comment by sharbear36(ship 9 div 288) on August 4, 2012 at 2:32pm

Your welcome :) just like to pass on info if I have it, the way others do. I'm thinking they Just might want them away from Facebook, that wasn't always around especially in 1960, just sayin :)

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