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Comment by grateful-Ship13Div333 on August 9, 2013 at 10:22am

That's true VeteranSailorMom.  My SR's GF is good for him too & I have to wait to see how this all works out over time.  She can't go to PIR because of work and I feel  badly for her.  Sounds corny, but I want to mail her a Navy candle just to let her know we're thinking of her.  Arranging skype while we're in Great Lakes for the weekend I hope will help too.....

Comment by VeteranSailorMomTX on August 9, 2013 at 10:14am

It might not end as badly as you think. My 2 cents here... My son and his GF have been together since she was a sophomore in HS and he a JR. He graduated and went off to college an hour away in 2011. She graduated in 2012 and went to college 2 hours away from his school. Now that he is gone to BC she was there with us when he left and will be there with us when he graduates and then she will head back to school on Monday. She has been as much support to him as I have and is just as big of fan - no matter where she is. They adore each other and have been mature enough to let the other grow into their own person and not feel like they have to be joined at the hip to have a successful relationship. I thank God for her being in my son's life every day- because she is exactly what he needs. She is also a great role model for my only daughter who is 13. So if she is good to your son and he loves her, the best thing you can do is let the relationship take its course and see what happens and be supportive no matter what to keep your relationship strong between you and your son!

Comment by BridgetTheBrit (Ship 11/Div 340) on August 9, 2013 at 10:13am

You both said exactly what I was going to say and couldn't get to the computer quickly enough!  Kudos to you for supporting and not saying no!  Way to go Mom! bchis is quite right, your support will mean everything to your son, and if things don't work out, you are there for him.....and you can't be blamed.....and if things go well, there will never be that awkward feeling that you said that it wouldn't work out.......

Comment by bchis on August 9, 2013 at 10:08am

I was far from an expert at making great "girl decisions" when was that age... But, since I'm a guy, I can tell you what I would have been feeling if I was "in love". I was an expert on that! I fell in love about once each quarter of the year through my late teens and early twenties.

If they are in love, absolutely nothing you do or say is going to make one bit of difference. If your gut feeling is right, their feelings will fade VERY fast once the distance and time grows. One may start sooner than the other but it's inevitable. If your gut feeling is wrong, they may be 1 in [a lot] and make it through to a happy relationship. Who knows...? They know exactly where they will be in a year or 10 years from now. Usually, what they know will change every week once he gets out on his own.

I ignored so much relationship advice when I was younger... If I had just listened, I would have saved so much time but I wouldn't have learned as much either.

Try to be supportive and let them enjoy this feeling right now. If you are right, you won't have to worry about it much longer. The girl may get on your nerves (like one of mine did) but your son will seem not to care. If you are wrong, you will be happy you didn't interfere.

Comment by grateful-Ship13Div333 on August 9, 2013 at 10:07am

MontanaMom:  Always respect your gut feeling  - it's on target.  I think you should just sit back and let these two figure this out for themselves over time. We can't cushion those times we see our kids heading down the road to disappointment and hurt.  We can only be there to support them when it happens.  And as we all know, it is through these disappointments we grow.  They will too.  

 

I think it's so nice of you to accommodate his GF on the trip.  I guess you will truly have some solid time to get to know her better after that weekend.  I wish you well.

Comment by Phoebs on August 9, 2013 at 9:50am

My SR's, GF called yesterday after I have been on her since we recieved the information about PIR asking her if she was going to attend with us. She is a 17 yr old girl with two years of HS remaining.  I have met her once (last year at PROM, and her parents once at the same time), they live 160 miles from  us so we know little about each other.  Her parents have decided she can go with us.  I was to say the least a bit shocked at the decision but okay I will do this for my SR. After some discussion I had with her mother; I gave all the information to my flight scheduele and instructed her to make arrangements for GF, she was able to get on the same flight-and even will be seated across the aisle from us on the plane. (She has never flown before).  I spent my lunch hour redoing all my reservations from single rooms to double rooms.  Call me paranoid but I just don't think a 17 yr old girl should be all by herself in a room. (fortunately her mother felt the same way).   Okay... So here is where I need your help... Can someone tell me if my gut feelings about this situation is wrong...I have explained to my SR and to GL that this is going to end Badly.  She has two years of school left he will in NO WAY be stationed anywhere near us.  I want him to excell but I also want her to grow up and be her own person.  I don't like to see women be dependent on men (tried to raise my daughter to independent).   I express my feels to her mother as well and per the phone conversation her mother feels the same way.  How do I support them but also try to cushion the more then likely ending for both.  

Comment by diannep on August 9, 2013 at 8:10am

Uh Oh, bchis.  Hang in there!  I'm sure she feels the same way....stay strong for her!  She for sure needs to know you are doing ok while she is working hard!  I know you know that...  :-) 

Good Morning All !

Comment by bchis on August 9, 2013 at 6:59am

I'm so ready for all if this to be over. Really tired of waking up alone.

Comment by grateful-Ship13Div333 on August 9, 2013 at 5:20am

Good morning all!!  Veteran members ROCK! Thank you SO much for posting all this information. 

 

Landlockedmom:  Thanks for the Skype idea.  That might help.  I was also thinking of ordering a navy candle & sending it to his GF. Do you think that might be okay?  (Oh, and if someone could send me the link on where to purchase the candle that would be great -- I remember seeing it a couple of weeks ago on here somewhere but I can't find it now....)

 

TNmomof8:  Hope your son recovers from the flu asap. 

 

Happy to see that some have gotten phone calls and letters.  Maybe one of these days I will too.  :)

Comment by FireTeamLeaderWife aka FTLW on August 9, 2013 at 4:45am

Here is your direct link to the MARLINESPIKE Discussion (up in the DISCUSSION FORUM area):

MARLINESPIKE

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