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Comment by AJ on May 24, 2011 at 10:23am

I just remembered one thing ..... Mary ..... is this 'green' problem you have with the pool treatable with the 'shock' product .... then it just all settles to the bottom and you can vacuum it up?

Comment by AJ on May 24, 2011 at 10:11am

Thanks to those of you who were holding my hand yesterday.  I have had no further word from the ship or A, so don't know what happened with any potential appendectomy or his health in general.  Doing my best to trust that the doctors on his ship are of the same quality as Hurley's nephew.  Please God, let it be so.  I'll let you know when I hear anything more.

 

Shelly .... it sure seems like once they get to their ships, that their workload and schedules, amongst a plethora of other factors .... definitely impacts how often they have a chance to email or call.  It is a challenging adjustment for us moms.  I hope that the groups for the Enterprise here and/or on FB offer you some sources of information .... a lot of what I know comes from them, not always directly from my son.  I do know that about a week ago, they had a 'Beer Day'.  I imagine most of you know about those or have heard about them.  They will bring a bunch of beer onto the ship and on a day when they've been long out at sea or need a break, they will give each Sailor who wants to participate (and probably not many don't) two beers.  The drinking age isn't a factor in international waters.  So, those do seem to be highlights when they aren't able to have a port visit for a long time.  

 

Back to health .... I suggest sending immune boosters in every care package. I will be from now on.

 

Shelly, Mary, Nicole, and anyone else in those tornado corridors in the midwest, stay safe.  No running outside to 'look', 'take the next great tornado photograph or video', ......... take cover.  I grew up in Missouri, so I remember running outside to look and I remember taking cover and fearing for my life.  I just wish the earth could calm itself a bit so that we don't go from one huge disaster to another.

 

I'm forgetting some stuff I wanted to say ... maybe it will come back to me in a bit.  See you then.

Comment by AJ on May 24, 2011 at 9:57am

Mrs. B .... so much for your little family to deal with and I can feel the rawness of your angst and pain.  First and foremost .... please remember that you, Paul and TJ are perfect just the way you are .... and that you always have been .... and always will be.  Remember that your love for each other and your obvious love for God are what you anchor yourselves into right now.  You've done that before and you are being asked to do that again.  My heart goes out to Paul for the brutality of his childhood and family.  He has endured so much, and while the scars are still visible physically and even emotionally, he is out of it now .... and he has you and TJ there to love him, nurture him, and support him .... and to show him with your living and loving grace exactly what an unconditional love is.

 

The second thing that I want to say is that you are hoping for things to change.  And sweetheart, they most likely are not going to.  It sounds like you can count on those members of the family to continue to be who they have been all these years.  Do your best to accept that this is who they are and create whatever distance you need to to protect yourselves.  If Paul still wants/needs a relationship with his mother and she has no room in her heart for you ... let him have whatever space he needs to do that ... and don't look for her to include you in the program.  I know that is hard, because you just want everyone to act like a functional, loving family would act ... but they are not.  Paul has his own healing to do with his relationship with his mother ... and that may happen and may never happen, but he has to do what he has to do ... and it will take whatever time he needs it to take.

 

I would take Donna's advice, and remove whatever family members you are speaking about from access to your FB account or any other ways they have of being in your face and in your stuff.  If you need to, change everything .... create a new account, mark it with as much privacy as you need to .... but protect yourself, your information, your hearts.

 

My concern for you is that these family issues are robbing you and hijacking you from the beauty of your own family ... the three of you .... you have begun a new life again .... Paul has a new job and is making decent money .... you have your own plans for becoming a doula .... you have a wonderful, perfect, little baby boy who will know nothing of the trials that Paul knew as a child.  Don't allow anyone else to steal the joy of those things from you.  View yourself as powerful and courageous and loving (because you are) .... and not as a victim of the people are do not honor, love, and respect you.  

 

I realize that you came on to vent, and if I have overstepped anything here by offering my thoughts, I apologize.  I want the very best for the three of you ... I hope you know that.  Sending a big hug for all three of you .... and by the way, I still have that book for you that I brought to Great Lakes but never got to give to you .... remember?  Love You Forever.  A must have for the mother of a son.  When I get back to the states, I'd love to mail it to you.

Comment by Donna-Amanda's mom on May 24, 2011 at 12:40am

Mrs  B, So sorry you are going thru all this. Doesn't anyone thinkk  you have been through enough already. Didn't you say they claim to be Christians. I don't see it.

You should block them all on your FB and then they can't see anything. They won't even know they have been blocked. No one needs to deal with this kind of stuff. Life can be stressful enough on its own without having people contribute to it.

Hang in t here. Will keep you and  your family in my prayers.

Comment by Mrs.B_Div 302_Ship9 on May 24, 2011 at 12:23am

Ok, Ladies, I need to rant, but I can't rant on FB, because my family reads EVERYTHING I say and I can't have any privacy. They know how to snoop around my account for some reason and find out the craziest things, then twist them and turn me into some awful person that I'm NOT. Anyways, here's my rant. They won't have anything to do with me, Paul's mom told him that if I tried to call or email she would hang up on me and would block me from calling. His brother is lying about me and has ruined my reputation with my friends back in Dallas. His sister has lied about Paul and I and won't have anything to do with us. I talked with Paul's dad and he was trying to get me to agree with lies they were telling and I wouldn't do it. He told me I was the most disrespectful girl he had ever met. All because I wouldn't agree with him on LIES. I was soft spoken, quiet and sweet, but wouldn't agree...yet I'm the bad person. I'm not the one who fed Paul dog stuff because he refused to eat his veggies. I'm not the one who hit him so hard that he has a HUGE scar on his head forever. I'm not the one who left him in a military style boarding school for 6 years, never calling or visiting. I'm not the one who still left my son in boarding school after I knew that he'd been sexually abused MANY times and threatened with death if he told. I'm not the one who left my son out on the street when he was homeless (after college for a while; didn't have money to get home or get an apartment). I'm not the one who stole $3,000 from him! I'm about ready to scream. I'm SICK of this.

 

Ok, I"m sorry. I  am really, REALLY mad right now. His mom called tonight to talk to him, but wouldn't say a word to me or anything. She ignores me. And Paul doesn't want to ruin his relationship with his Mom to say much/anything. SCREAM. 

 

Alright...done ranting. I just needed to let it out. SO SORRY!

 

Thanks for listening. haha.

 

Hope you all are doing well! :)  Have a great week.

Comment by Dyl's Mom 943 on May 23, 2011 at 9:50pm

my comments are on fb because i keep getting signed off....grrrr

Comment by Donna-Amanda's mom on May 23, 2011 at 6:30pm

AJ, are they sure he has appendicitis. They are usually constantly throwing up, severe right lower abd pain, high WBC(white blood count), fever. That is something they generally take care of right away (non military anyway). Sorry to hear he is so sick but feeling better. Sounds like he was over exhausted to me from those 23hr shifts. I'm not an MD but unless he is complaining loudly about abd pain I wouldn't think he had appendicitis.

It has been very quiet here all weekend. Wandering if I was the only left here. LOL

Hope all in the tornadoe areas are all ok. So many deaths with that one.

 

Hope all hear from their Sailors.

Comment by AJ on May 23, 2011 at 6:14pm

Does anyone know what the procedure is if A has to have this freakin' surgery?  Will they notify us before .... after .... during ..... what a helpless feeling to sit here with so little information.

Comment by hurleyl8dyShip6Div943PIR9/10/10 on May 23, 2011 at 6:10pm

Ok, I just saw that on Marys FB page. Just she's been absent... And wow AJ, is your family ok? Isn't there some one here live in MO? Is it Shelly? Well I pray for all there. It's just horrible. I hope your family is all safe.

Comment by AJ on May 23, 2011 at 6:05pm

Hurley!  Yay!  The phone call(s).  So happy for you all.  And next weekend, he will be in your presence ... nothing could be finer.  It sounds like Marc has been a part of the change in his classification and that he will be happy and well suited for that work too.

 

Mary is in Iowa and those Missouri tornadoes were in southern Missouri.  I've kept on top of that news, as my parents and most of my family live in Missouri.  Thankfully, Mary should be fine .... but I must say, that it would still be great to have a smart ass remark from her right about now. 

 

Hugs.

 

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