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Comment by Debby on June 11, 2011 at 12:12pm

How many would have signed up for our jobs knowing the pain and heartache we bare? A mom is not a job of financial reward, our reward is greater than money.. We military mom’s get to know that our hard work had produced MEN OF HONOR… Our hard work has produced a human being willing to give more of themselves than most.. That the humans we raised want to do something greater with their life that will serve all of us..

 I remember when my sons were deploying and I would go to the main board and see mom’s in tears .. Falling apart because their son just left for basic…  I would get so man and wanted to slap them… and at times I would post that its just basic mom they could be in Iraq with my son… .. but then realized I felt that same pain when my son left and that I needed to show support ..

My sons NEVER told me about their deployments.. I never knew my Riverines group had come under attack, I never knew my Riverine was injured and is now failing his medical exams at the VA due to those injuries.. I never knew my son was exposed to something that could now cause lasting health effects..  

I never knew about the base coming under attack and my Army son running out of the barracks in the middle of the night with a gun to help defend his post.. I didn’t know about the roadside bombs or the suicide of a young soldier he found.. until after he was home…

Some sons come to mom and tell her everything… Mom is and will always be that place of safety.. It must be hard to hear their pain knowing there is nothing we can do to help…What words can we say to make it better? I don’t know I wish I had an answer to that… all we can do is listen take it all in and find a place where we can go to let it all out.. This is that place please don’t be afraid to come here.. we might not be able to find the world to make it better but ½ the battle is letting it all out..

Mom’s you need to have all the resources you can not only for you but for your sons… especially when they decide to leave..

P-bear’s mom we are all here for you.. and something that I found.. through my venting and getting it all I out I was helping another mom.. she msg’d me privately and thanked me for saying what she was afraid to say.. thanked me for sharing my first walmart meldown story … 

My way of dealing with my sons deployments was to work … and I mean work a lot  7 days a week 12 hour days.. Then I changed jobs and kids deployed again.. so I worked and then went back to school I developed an ulcer and now dealing with that.. I admit to taking zanax when needed it was funny that I usually needed it after talking to my soldier or sailor not when I didn’t…

Remember we are part of a group that no one really wants to be a member of… we are military moms who have had live with the pain that our sons have chosen to be the men they are and put their lives on the line so we all have a better world t live ln… I know I would rather be in las vegas…

Comment by TexasDocMom on June 11, 2011 at 10:06am

ProudAZmom, I must have missed something. We all have diverse and wonderful relationships with our children....simply because my son, or anyone's son/daughter chooses to not share their war zone experiences with their families while deployed and we post about it isn't expressing judgment on anyone else's relationship with their own soldier/sailor/marine. It's just how my son is...he's protective, he knows I worry, he knows I'm on this board every day to support you moms, and he knows how it tears me up inside sometimes. And he doesn't want me to hear a different tone in his voice and worry myself sick over it. It's his way. He also came home, sat down and shared a lot of his tour with us. In person, so we could ask questions, and know he was safe and sound. I don't question or judge how other families communicate, it's not my call. I know my son's buddies in his unit and his commanders felt very strongly about too much sharing on any on line board, just for the sake of the privacy of others and OPSEC.  With the shut down of facebook and other online communication on board some Navy ships, I think the military is finding their way to coexist with online groups like this one.

My main concern as an admin is that no unit info, no arrivals, departures or count downs appear here. And that all causality and injured info be presented after it is announced by the Dept of Defense, so no mom/dad comes here to see that there were causalities in their son/daughter's area or unit before there has been time to inform the family of anyone hurt or killed. No unnecessary fear or worry, we have plenty.

I always advise the same thing...as I was advised when I first joined this board. When your son/daughter is talking to you, they are talking to MOM (or Dad) not to this group in general.  We all have to be very selective about what we share publicly from those phone calls and emails. They are in a war zone. We are not. We are here to support, but not necessarily share all info from those calls and emails.

We all have different ways of coping. My son's (and denise's son, as well, it seems) way is doing the job day by day and using our time on the phone and chat to laugh and enjoy the sounds and stories of home. It doesn't mean we are not as close to our children as you consider yourself to be with your son. We are all individuals with individual relationships with our individual children. I really feel no  judgement call on those relationships should be made by anyone.

Comment by TexasDocMom on June 11, 2011 at 9:04am

Funny, all the bedrooms were painted during my son's Iraq deployment....whatever works!

denise, my son shared your son's theory. He didn't tell me anything in those calls, letter (one real letter!) and emails/online chats. Just asked about home, and the dogs, his nieces/nephew....and the 'good to hear your voice, mom' is as close to emotion as he'd let himself get. He told me before he left "I'm coming home so don't panic."   He wouldn't even ask about Boomer, our aging dog that he knew we were going to lose, but it was the first thing out of his mouth on the phone after he was boots down USA. Focus, job, his Marines, focus.

 

And now he's in love. and 90 miles from home. It will all be better, ladies, it will all be better. Now...his gf's birthday is tomorrow and I have to go get something approriate...I guess a subscription to Bride's Mag is out?

 

Comment by Much Trouble on June 10, 2011 at 9:48pm

Karen M...My Seabee son was over there last year, and I know he was a lot safer than some.  However, when it is your kid, you can't help but worry.  As far as I know, he was only injured twice...once when a screwdriver slipped and went through his hand, and once when one of his crew accidently "shot" him with a staple gun.  But these moms will tell you...I could work myself into a panic in a heartbeat!  (I did not religiously follow the news, but if I heard something I'd spend the evening Googling everything I could find.)

 

PBear's Mom...Your post has already HELPED others.  The success of this group depends on us being honest with each other.  I know there were a few time I'd come on here and "moan"...then regret it.  But almost instantly, others responded and said they felt the same way.  Sometimes you need to speak out not only for yourself, but for the others that don't want to sound silly or weak.

Comment by Dan's Dad (John) on June 10, 2011 at 8:41pm

Three lines on fb in the last two weeks isn't exactly a lot of news, but at least we know he's ok and that he got some of the packages sent. :)

Comment by mikes mom on June 10, 2011 at 8:29pm

And I painted the interior of my home while he was deployed..That's what helped me : ) Kept me some what sane..

Comment by mikes mom on June 10, 2011 at 8:28pm

TDM - So true I usually don't share my sons experience unless its needed.. I have to say this group and one other group kept me going while my son was deployed..

Comment by TexasDocMom on June 10, 2011 at 8:23pm

Karen, are you on facebook? several of the Seabee units have pages, and put up a lot of photos of what they doing and building. It really is cool to see what they are doing, such brave guys to accomplish all they do in a war zone. I know they are well guarded and watch out for each other, but I certainly can share your concern. I have a couple of friends with Seabee sons, they can sure tell their share of the stories! One is stationed just out of country...building in what is basically two giant iron shipping containers, welded together, with no AC (it broke...ya think their would be a HVAC guy in the bunch...). I suggested sending fans and she said "great, it'd be a convection oven!". Karen, can you message me what unit your son is with and I'll see if I can locate the facebook page for you. Please don't put the info out here, thanks. 

PBear, you did perfect...you got it out and we shared it, and now it won't affect new moms or anyone being nosy when they shouldn't. I will again be the bad guy and caution against exchanging alot of information with the moms of kids in the same unit as your son, you just don't know what it can lead to...wait until they are home to get to know each other better. Just because you two get along doesn't mean the two deployed guys are buddies. Trust your son's information about what is going on there, not someone else's.

A reminder to all of you waiting...get out of the house, or go to the gym, or go shopping, whatever it takes to get you moving and out the door . (I don't know if I can follow my own advice, it's so darn HOT here in central Texas!) but do something...watch a chick flick, no war movies. Have a great night!

Comment by mikes mom on June 10, 2011 at 8:19pm

Sir Vette and John - What Great News : ) Makes me happy to know your hearing from our guys..

Comment by Dan's Dad (John) on June 10, 2011 at 8:14pm

Glad you heard from your cub vette! Carolyn caught Dan on fb yesterday, he said he got 7 of the 15 boxes her work had sent. he said the guys in his platoon all thanked her and they picked thru them fast, LOL!

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