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Comment by Much Trouble on April 15, 2011 at 8:52am

Susan SC...That is beautiful, and so true!

Comment by rysony on April 15, 2011 at 7:56am

P-Bear's Mom. My son is a canine bomb dog handler going out for 10 day treks at a time and when he first got there I literally cried for 2 weeks. I was making myself sick and when we skyped I am sure he could feel my upset. I finally resolved to let go and let God and stay very upbeat. I am now volunteering with th VA Hospital and escorting Vets from a to b. I started working out and also to be able to skype your son and have him in your living room is a huge plus. I always tell him to stay safe and know that Angels are surrounding him. I hope this helps. I had to pull myself together for his sake as well as mine. Bad fibes go through the universe. God Bless you and your family.

Comment by Much Trouble on April 15, 2011 at 6:53am

P Bear...You already sound much better!  All those thoughts and feelings are still there (I don't think they will ever go away!) but they have taken a step or two back.  Don't beat yourself up over this!!!  He wanted to go in...and he has passed all his courses and combat training.  He IS capable!  what TDM said about the others watching over him is very true, and in your son's case it will probably go a step farther.  If it hasn't happened already, I imagine he will become everyone's little brother.  BTW...The good side of meltdowns is that you can meet people that seem to be complete strangers, but they have been there and DO understand.  Instant bonding!!!  LOL

TDM...I'm getting old so young people keep looking younger to me, but your Dad was a baby!  It is difficult to remember at one time teenagers were REALLY young adults with adult thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities.

Comment by TexasDocMom on April 14, 2011 at 11:32pm

And P Bear...we're a very special INNER circle...we don't let just anybody in....Ha!!!  that's cuz no one really ever WANTS to join this group....and we never seem to leave it!

Comment by TexasDocMom on April 14, 2011 at 11:31pm

P Bear, my dad enlisted in about 1925. My grandmother signed him in. We've never known his exact year of birth because he was born in Oklahoma when it was a territory and no birth certificate. His Navy records said one thing, the others another. One day my grandson at age 14 was standing next to this photo and I realized my dad was probably at the most 15 years old when he enlisted. They were dirt poor in East Texas. So he joined the Navy. One thing I want you to do as you meet people on N4Moms, is tell the story of your son's youth and his comment, it might help another family with a young one wanting to enlist make a decision.

Comment by vettespace on April 14, 2011 at 10:33am

Hi P-Bear's Mom, I call my son "punkin", don't tell him I told you...LOL  He's been in sunny Helmand Province for a month and a half now.  20 yrs old and out on patrols with his Marine's everyday.  I'm just counting the days till his return and communicating with him about vacation plans for him and his girlfriend upon his return.  Sending care packages often is definitely good therapy!  Your son (and his buddys) will appreciate any and all snacks from home!  This will consume you 24/7 so just try to make it one day at a time and always be strong and supportive when communicating with your son.  Talk about home and just ask him what he needs and send it!  He (and you) will be in all of our thoughts and prayers.

Comment by LMC -mom of 2 Sailors! on April 14, 2011 at 9:57am

PBear- My son is going in Aug. As teh others have said support is here. Sadly I was TOLD/questioned by my sister "How can you let him go over there? Where are your tears?"  My mother is freaking withthis son going to Afghanistan and the thought of my middle son considering join Navy after he does college. "How come you let them do this?" (have to say her brother was sent to Vietnam twice not by choice so I get where she is coming from)

I limit my exposure to that negative business to cope. Oh did I tell ya my sister has no bio kids of her own. I do believe that makes her NOT an arthority on child rearing or how to rate me as a parent or my chiilds choice in his furture career path. 

Thanks for letting me vetn. PBear I will kep you in prayers adn your son but if they need to take up a collection for your "Bail" for slapping a dumb person I would be willing to chip in and let ya slap my sister. :D

Comment by TexasDocMom on April 14, 2011 at 9:08am

PBear's Mom....I read these posts of support that Susan and MT have written, I remember the day my son was deployed (my 60th birthday! sucked!) and I remember coming to this group for the first time, I remember each of them coming this group for the first time and now they offer the support and hope you need! I am so proud of them for their words to you..... and for you, you truly have found an oasis of comfort here.

No, you are not going crazy. And yes, those well meaning folks do not get it. They want to...but unless they have had a loved one in a war zone they just can't. And yes, it's gonna piss you off even more as time passes, so come here. You are not over reacting, it is the perfectly normal thing to be afraid when you have a child in a war zone. Our mothers were, our grandmothers were, until time began. We do have better communication now tho, altho in Afghan, it seems harder and longer to get phone calls. Carry your phone with you at all times. Look for any strange number and ANSWER it no matter what. Try to stay calm, talk about home, your dog, his football/basketball team, whatever. No I miss you until the end of the call, keep him focused that home is here, you are fine, he is loved. Do you Skype?

 

There is a ton of advice you will hear, you will get...I just want to make sure you know a couple of things about this young man you raised. He's been very well trained. I mean VERY well trained. And his commanders do not take his job lightly or his life. They want to bring home every single Marine, every single Corpsman to their families. Those Marines and other corpsmen with whom he serves are not all rookies to Afghanistan. They will train him even more, and they will watch his back, and he'll be watching theirs. War is hard, but our military is in the forefront because we are the best. And your son, believe it or not, is part of that. He is young, so those older guys...like our 24/25 year old "old" guys will watch him and watch out for him until he gets his legs under him. Marines will always take care of the Doc. It's a tradition as old as the corpsman rank itself.

You just remember this...you are not alone. Someone is always home here, we always will listen, cry, scream, rant and laugh with you.Take care of you. Walk that dog, dig a garden, go to the gym, volunteer at hospitals, do what you need to do to be tired enough to sleep at night. If sleep is a problem, talk to your doctor, see what he advises. We all do it. I have stuff in the cabinet right now....never had to use it but it was there just in case. Just remember...you are not alone...and no, you can't slap the faces of those who don't understand...but probably we'd do a  "chip in" to bail you out. You are not alone, PBear.

Comment by Much Trouble on April 14, 2011 at 5:42am

P-Bear's Mom, first things first...You are NOT going crazy...you are just feeling what any sane mom feels.  Hang around in here with us.  This is the only safe place I had where I could say what I really felt, and all these beautiful ladies would hold my hand and give me cyber-hugs, then tell me how I could make things a bit better for myself.  You WILL be okay...maybe have melt-downs, but be able to pick yourself up again.  When you have time, scroll through some of the old posts and read about something we call a Walmart meltdown.  (Yes, there are also ladies who wanted to do bodily harm to those that said stupid things such as "He will be fine."  LOL)  Anyway, we will walk the walk with you until it is time for you to post those beautiful hug pictures from his homecoming.  Meanwhile, know that you are NOT alone!

Comment by Emilie on April 14, 2011 at 12:40am

P-Bear's Mom - Sorry he had to go. I have read that you have to stay busy and start packing a special box to send him with lots of his favorite treats and that you will cry and that it is okay and normal.

I haven't had to do it myself yet just getting ready he says 3 to 6 months.

I came here to post this link that I got about Mrs. Obama and Dr. Biden launching the "Joining Forces" campagne.    http://www.whitehouse.gov/joiningforces  It has lots of places to get involved and tells about all the companies that are doing things to help the military members and families.

The thing that keeps me going is when the other parents say that "these guys are doing what they believe in" They have such an important job - they are changing the world, they are super heros in my book! 

Be gentle with yourself P-Bear's Mom :) I know when it is my son's turn to leave I will be here crying too and reading how everyone else gets through it. :)

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