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Comment by nicole~a sailors girl(: on May 8, 2011 at 9:29pm

I have returned!!!!

My dad went out of town(to ohio) for a job and I had to stay at his hosue and babysit my dogs, so they got out to potty and stuff!! It was alright though, because for about 2 weeks straight G & I lived together, shockingly, went pretty well! He is less than 30 days from leaving now. I hope everyone had a wonderful mothers day!!!! I've got to go get something to eat, i'm incredibly hungry!

Comment by iris - Wahiawa, Hawaii on May 8, 2011 at 12:08pm

Happy Mother's Day Ladies! Now go out and have some fun. =)

 

 

Comment by AJ on May 8, 2011 at 9:42am

Funny and only one off-color reference (ok, maybe two) ... hope it doesn't offend.  But don't miss Cookie Monster below all of this!

 

How to simulate the life of a Sailor

Buy a steel dumpster, paint it haze-gray inside and out, and live in it for six months. 

 

Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls. 

 

Repaint your entire house every month. Color Choices-Haze Grey or Dark Grey 

 

Renovate your bathroom (and henceforth always refer to it as the "head").

 

Build a wall across the middle of the bathtub(shower-stall) and move the showerhead to chest level. When you take a shower, make sure you turn off the water while you soap down. (Wet down, turn off water, soap down, Turn on water rinse down! Navy Shower) (Hollywood Showers are showers that last more than one (1) Minute) 

 

Raise the thresholds and lower the headers of your front and back doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them. 

 

Disassemble and inspect your lawn-mower every week. 

 

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On Saturdays and Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed. (call it "water hours") 

 

Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you can't turn over without getting out and then getting back in. Put all your clothes under your mattress to press them! 

 

Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Have your spouse whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you go to sleep, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and say "Sorry, wrong rack." 

 

Make your family qualify to operate each appliance in your house -dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc. (call it "PQS- Qualifications") 

 

Have your neighbor come over each day at 6 am, blow a whistle loudly, and shout "Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out and trice up." 

 

Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in your back yard at 6 am while she reads it to you. (call it "Morning Muster Call") 

 

Submit a request chit to your father-in-law requesting permission to leave your house before 3 pm. (call it "Early-Liberty") 

 

Empty all the garbage bins in your house and sweep the driveway three times a day, whether it needs it or not. (Stop referring to the garbage bins as "SHIT-CAN's") 

 

Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item before delivering it to you. (call it "Mail Call") 

 

Watch no TV except for movies played in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one. (call it "Movie Call") 

 

Make your family menu a week ahead of time without consulting the pantry or refrigerator. 

 

Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When they finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot dogs or a horse cock sandwich . Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and just ask for hot dogs.( Horse cock= BOLOGNA) 

 

Bake a cake. Prop up one side of the pan so the cake bakes unevenly. Spread icing real thick to level it off. 

 

Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich OR HORSE COCK on stale bread. (Midrats=MIDNIGHT RATIONS) 

 

Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. At the alarm, jump up and dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt button and tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard and uncoil the garden hose. (call it "FIRE DRILL") 

 

Every week or so, throw your dog in the pool and shout, "Man overboard port side!" Rate your family members on how fast they respond. 

 

Put the headphones from your stereo on your head, but don't plug them in. Hang a paper cup around your neck on a string. Stand in front of the stove, and speak into the paper cup "Stove manned and ready." After an hour or so, speak into the cup again "Stove secured." Roll up the headphones and paper cup and stow them in a shoebox. (SOUND-POWERED TELEPHONES) 

 

Place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have your family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4 hour intervals. This is best done when the weather is worst. January is a good time. (call it "QUARTERDECK WATCH") 

 

When there is a thunderstorm in your area, get a wobbly rocking chair, sit in it and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous. Make sure to have a supply of stale crackers in your shirt pocket and a bucket so you can puke in it. 

 

Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget priced coffee grounds per pot, and allow the pot to simmer for 5 hours before drinking. Or go to boiler room for some BT (Boiler Tech) coffee made from feed water, nasty tasting stuff, but you get used to it, drinking hot coffee when in 145 down there in front of the boilers, that's a cool day! In the Persian Gulf it gets hotter!

 

Have someone under the age of ten give you a haircut with sheep shears, and tell the barber just a little off the sides. 

 

Sew the back pockets of your jeans on the front. 

 

Lock yourself and your family in the house for six weeks. Tell them that at the end of the 6th week you are going to take them to Disney World for "liberty." At the end of the 6th week, inform them the trip to Disney World has been canceled because they need to get ready for an inspection, and it will be another week before they can leave the house because you failed inspection, or you have ORI coming up. 

 

Have you wife press your skivvies, no starch! 

 

Get drunk and wind up in a tattoo parlor getting a tattoo on your wife's butt cheeks or a Choo Choo train coming out your butt hole. 

 

Eat your meal in less than 5 minutes to keep in practice, chewing not required! 

 

Shout out every time a women comes into your room, "female in quarters"!

Comment by Dyl's Mom 943 on May 8, 2011 at 9:17am

Happy Mother's Day everyone!   Hope you all get to wear tiara's today, whether real or imagined! 

i've missed some time on here since dyl's has been home so i guess i'm going to just jump in.   Hope everyone's sailor is doing great!   I only have until Tues morning with dyl's and then he leaves.  he'll go to Norfolk and then hops on another plane and heads east.  he'll get to fly from there to the ship so i think he's pretty excited about getting to fly in and land on the carrier.  I've seen the enterprise group on here so i might have to start asking stupid questions again......ugh!   i thought i was done with that back in our boot camp days!

oh yeah.....i checked out the Leaving in July group.... it's still going with a whole new set of Mom's.  Just reminded me of how far we've come.  My hearts go out to those Mom's who, like us, are realizing they are on limited time with their kiddo's.   It won't be long and we'll hit our one year mark since they graduated!  that's soooo crazy!   Sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes i feel like i've lived a lifetime since dyl's left for boot camp. 

 

ok.... i gotta go "hit the showers" and get busy but i just want to say "thanks" to all you great Mom's out there for raising such super kids.  You have a right to be "Queen for a day"! 

Talk to ya soon....    oh yeah...  and RSL!    (i did read a little).......ha!

Comment by AJ on May 8, 2011 at 9:10am

Comment by Mrs.B_Div 302_Ship9 on May 7, 2011 at 10:23pm

Ok, my comments don't seem to be showing up! :( Arghhh.

 

Iris, My dad sells HcG and it works wonders with ladies trying to loose weight. I can get you in touch with him if you want and (no promises) but if you tell him you're a friend of mine, he might give you a discount. Like I said, I can't promise, but he gives a pretty good price already. I lost like 10 lbs in about 3 weeks one time and it was really nice! If you want, I will get you in touch with him. Message me on FB if you're interested and I will give you his #.

Comment by AJ on May 7, 2011 at 3:56pm

Iris -- does this mean that you don't already love me??!! 

This is cracking me up .... so there seems to be some keen interest here.  I'll have to check that out.

 

Mary - you got tulips!  and a card!  You lucky duck.  What a cute note and fun sense of humor.  Thank you for sharing that with us.  If you get a tiara, I want to see pictures. 

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Happy Mother's Day to all of you amazing Queens and Goddesses of Motherhood!  I hope you each joy your day immensely and that you are pampered in every way ..... if not by others, then by yourself!  Much love to each of you.  

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Comment by Donna-Amanda's mom on May 7, 2011 at 2:56pm

Mary, That is so funny and yet so thoughtful. What a great son. Hope all enjoy a great Mother's Day.

Comment by iris - Wahiawa, Hawaii on May 7, 2011 at 12:01pm

Just a quicky - AJ - I would love you forever if you would hook me up with some skinny pills. Don't mean to sound like a junkie (I'm not) but blubber be gone pills would SOOOOO.... make me happy.

 

Comment by AJ on May 6, 2011 at 7:58pm

Thankfully, it looks like you guys can just click on the link to see the video. :)

Iris - your RSL has totally caught on here.  So, RSL to all!

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